The civil war of 2014

41  2013-01-27 by helipod

It is a Thursday afternoon, mid April, and you are driving home from work. Your wife calls you and asks you to stop at the supermarket for a few items. As you are getting the bread and milk, a disturbance begins at the front of the store. As you approach the check-out, you realize that the lines are way too long, and there are several people complaining. From the dialogue you realize that the Credit/Debit system is down. The store manager is trying to keep people calm, while on the phone with the company that services the card-reader system for electronic payments.

Now, a new line is forming at the ATM machine in the store, people shoving and yelling. Apparently, folks went to the ATM so they could pay for their items with cash and get home. Strangely, the ATM is giving out too much money – double, to be exact. Suddenly, everyone wants to be in that line… a fight breaks out, and the front of the store becomes mayhem. You quickly pay for the items you have, going through the express checkout, thanking God that you have cash in your wallet, and get the heck out of the store.

By the time you get home, a story is breaking on the news – the same strange events are happening all over the state. Credit/Debit systems down, and most ATMs not functioning, while others are dispensing “free” money. Later in the evening, you hear that there have been multiple shootings at ATMs in the area, as people fight over the free money coming out of them… flash mobs are reported at some of the grocery and electronics stores in the city where you work.

By morning, the news is all about hackers that have broken into the ATM network, and how the banks have had to shut the ATMs down to prevent further losses. There are images on the TV of growing lines at the banks, as people must go to a bank to get cash, in our previously ‘cashless’ society. Later in the day, you hear that there are now fights breaking out at banks as people tire of the long lines, and become fearful…because bank branches are running out of cash. That afternoon, a grocery store downtown gets flash-mobbed for the third time, only this time the activities go beyond plain theft – an all-out riot erupts because people cannot get what they want, the shelves having been emptied by the previous flash-mobs.

On the drive home from work, you hear that several banks have closed branches early because they ran out of physical money. One of the branches was vandalized by people who had been waiting when the branch ran out of cash and closed up – smashed windows, smashed ATM machine, and several injured people taken to hospitals…several people were arrested, but the police are reviewing the security videos and “expect to make more arrests in the case.” That evening the news announces that these things are happening all over the country, and that looting and rioting have begun in several major cities. When bed time comes, you decide to get your pistol out of the safe and keep it by the bed, over your wife’s objections… “just in case.”

You wake up on Saturday morning to a different world – several of your neighbors have been burglarized, and the news is full of riots, robberies, and car-jackings. The mayors of several major cities have declared a state of emergency, and are urging people to stay home and lock their doors. The world seems to have come un-hinged. Your wife is no longer objecting to your pistol being ready at hand.

One of your friends owns the hardware store downtown, and he calls around 11am to ask if you need any shotgun shells, or other ‘security supplies’ – he says that he has a few boxes of 12ga. put aside, and the rest have all been sold. He also says that people have been buying plywood, screws, nails, steel bars, and anything else they can get to protect and reinforce their homes – he warns you that he expects to sell out of many supplies today. He has talked to many people that morning, he is clearly worried. He says one customer told him that he has a brother who lives in Philadelphia who had just called him, and said that there were rioters in the streets there, and that the local news showed pictures of some of them who were carrying guns and waving islamic flags.

By Saturday evening the insanity has infected the city nearest you, about 20 miles away, and there is a constant stream of reported rioting, looting, and shootings on the TV news. Your neighbor is a police officer in town, and he comes over to talk to you briefly before heading in for a shift – he says that his department has been told that they may have to send officers to assist in the city, and asks if you can you keep an eye on his family during his shift overnight? What can you say but “of course I will”…and think to yourself, “it’s not like I was going to get any sleep anyway.” Before heading out, he hands you his police scanner, quickly shows you how to use it.

Overnight, you hear gunshots in the distance…once, then again, then several more times. Gunshots and sirens, and the squawk of the scanner as each event is assigned to a unit. As the night wears on, you think back on the conspiracy theories you have heard over the years, but always dismissed as the ramblings of people living on the edge, with too much time on their hands – restless chatter of New World Order, global banking cabals, communist infiltration, etc. As much as you still don’t buy into the ranting of the “tinfoil hat brigade”, you have to wonder if the hackers who did this actually knew what they would be causing, or whether they were just trying to steal money? Morning approaches, and you realize that the police are sounding rather frustrated – there have been over 50 break-in calls since 11pm, but no one has been arrested. It is as though the police are being sent on wild goose chases. You drift off to sleep wondering, “Dozens of businesses broken into tonight, and a number of houses too, but no arrests, except for one drunk driver. How can that be?”

With daylight, your neighbor returns, but he is not happy, and neither are you when you hear the news – he and most of his squad have been assigned to assist the department in the city for a shift – he is home to grab the bag which is packed with his riot gear and other “special equipment”. He reminds you that his wife has a pistol, knows how to use it. “She also has the keys to my gun safe” he says. Both of you have to look away from the other at that moment – what it suggests about the future is just too ugly to think about, yet it can’t be avoided. He thanks you again for helping him out, and drives away.

Days later, the banks are still not open, the grocery stores are all looted and shut down, the gas stations are all empty, and your life has been reduced to shifts of community-watch duty. Armed raids by gangs are being reported everywhere, including your small town, and there are reports of huge packs of urban residents walking and driving out into the suburbs looking for food and refuge – everything on the news is about violence.

When your police officer neighbor returns (after nearly 4 days) and warns your neighborhood watch that a large mass of people is less than 2 miles up the road, looting and destroying people’s houses. He also tells you that many of the police are exhausted and walking off the job, as he did, to go home and protect their families, because there is just no managing the amount of violence which is happening. “It’s just plain crazy out there – people robbing and killing each other 24/7", he says, “and even with 4 cops in a cruiser, we’re not safe to go in and break things up. A lot of cops have been injured, some killed. It was just time to get out…to get home before I got hurt on the street. We need to get prepared – those people are coming, and they are crazy hungry!”

That afternoon, the mob of people is spotted coming up the road towards your neighborhood, now less than 1/2 mile away. Some are on foot, but they also have some cars and pickup trucks – there must be over 200 of them. Those that don’t have guns are carrying shovels, axes, sticks… in your neighborhood, everyone has been preparing since your neighbor brought home the warning. You have sent several boys out as runners to alert folks in near-by neighborhoods that danger is coming. Every gun is in someone’s hands. Your men have also pulled axes, shovels, and other tools from their sheds to be used as fighting tools, and you have a rudimentary plan -

You have 6 veterans with combat experience, and they each have a rifle and a pistol, plenty of ammo. They will go out and engage the mob just past the edge of the neighborhood, and will attempt to keep them on the main road, to divert them past your sub-division. The rest of your men are assembling along the two entrances to the neighborhood, a few houses back from the main road – they are preparing to make a massed defense against the coming mob, if they cannot be diverted by your advanced force. You have positioned vehicles, trailers, and brush in the roads to stop the mob’s vehicles, as well as providing some additional cover for your defense force. Meanwhile, the moms are gathering the children, the sick, and the old into a small cluster of houses in the center of your subdivision. They are also pulling the food and other resources out of the most vulnerable homes. Hopefully, the combination of high resistance and little/no rewards will keep the mob moving past your neighborhood… The unspoken fact weighs heavily on your group – if there are 250 in the mob, then you are outnumbered nearly 2:1, making a head-on fight a truly horrific ordeal. A painful silence has settled over everyone as you make your final preparations.

It has been 6 days since the ATM machines went down, 4 days since the last grocery store and gas station in town closed, and now you are preparing to fight your first battle against a mob of hungry, violent looters. Another mob has already arrived downtown, and you hear on the scanner that the police and fire department are very busy. You know that help will not be coming, because you have called to tell the dispatcher what is happening, to ask for help, but all he could say was that, “there are no officers available right now. I hope your plan works…”

  • – - Here, I will end the story, because what happens next cannot be told in a dignified fashion. In that clash lives are lost on all sides, and many are injured. There are no winners in this combat, only those who survived. The most profound impact is that, in less than the space of an hour, the hope of a return to normal life is destroyed for over 100 families in that neighborhood. War has touched them in their hearts, in their homes, and it has put their community to the test of fire. Those who survive have a chance to rebuild, but they have all been forever changed.

In such a scenario, the majority of Americans would either be the suburban defenders, or would be part of the mob. After such an event, our nation would be forever changed – grossly factionalized, and the gaping wound in our national consciousness cauterised by the violence. Thus wounded, we would be even more sensitive to subsequent events – a second disruption would move even faster than the first, with violence and looting coming within minutes, not hours or days. Our enemies all know this – they consider it a tool for their use against us. We must not be ignorant of the dangers we face…

76 comments

goddamit Jeremy this is why we don't let you play D&D with us anymore

Well that escalated quickly.

Excellent read though and crazily enough, the bit about the ATM spitting money and causing a rush sounded plausible.

none of this sounds plausible

If multiple ATM's started spitting money, you don't think there would be brawls over the money? You don't think people would head to banks to take out cash?

it happened in Britain. They formed a queue. ATM failures would not bankrupt banks or make the FED disappear

Whew good thing I live in the tropics far away from the cities. Got my year supply of food and natural rain water on a daily basis for my entire family and theirs to boot. Got my garden, and my weapons of choice plus I'm off the grid.

plus I'm off the grid.

How? You're on r/Conspiracy. Just busting your balls as I really do enjoy your contributions here.

1

Elaborate, please. :)

1

Sounds like a good set up, but accessing the internet from there sounds risky if, of course, someone is watching. Isn't having a cell phone and satellite internet still on the grid, in a way?

1 1

Glad I made you think! I really didn't think anyone would be watching you, of course, just pointing out the worst case scenario. :)

Solar, wind, and catchment. Basically if you want to be technical about it. I'm on cell with with usb hookup to cell service with Verizon unlimited data. I had that plan forever and I won't give it up either. I have satellite also. So maybe you can say I'm not totally off grid but I can disconnect anytime. Cause I really don't need media and internet if it comes down to it.

BTW I have pig to go along with my garden. too many freaking pigs. I got 3 wild feral carved up in the freezer already and give the others to friends. Bastards love corn and avocados. It's like the coconut wireless system of pigs. I kill one two more show up for the food.

Want some pork ribs?

Thanks but no thanks for the pork; I don't eat pork. LOL! So feral pigs are bad in the islands? Did not know that. Again, I was just picking on you man, you do not have to explain a damn thing to me. :)

Yeah I know you we're playing. I just like to playback.

Too bad you hate pork. We go plenty of wild cattle also in the upper mountain areas. Big island is so sustainable for it's population but Oahu that is a whole different ball game. Almost all farm land paved and watershed half gone for about a million people.

"Wild" cattle? I need to get to the Islands.....

Where do you precisely live? Coming over to get me some of your supplies.

You got to pay a lot for airfare and island hop. It used to be cheap to fly to Hawaii. Not any more though.

Sounds like sustainable living, sir. How do we know you aren't a U.N. operative?

Trust me, he isn't. ;)

Now I think YOU are.

Actually I'm a haole /kanaka in the back woods tropic on the rim of a massive valley on Big Isle Hawaii. Most of my kind can't stand the USA already and want the island kingdom back that was stolen by the USA.

We carry guns, spearfish, grow our own crops, and pretty much tell the state to fuck off also. Therefore if you want to think I'm a UN or zionist shill then tough shit. Cause I hate da kine also.

I was just messing with you, man, that sounds pretty great. Mahalo.

Okay

lol

nice read

Can't wait for season 2

TL;DR: OP has investment in doomsday Preppers supply companies.

I'm just breadcrumbing this so I can laugh at OP in summer of 2014.

To be honest, I don't know when something like this will happen, I just threw that year down. It could happen any day though, depending on what conspiracy theories you subscribe to.

Or, it will not happen. That's the one I subscribe to.

Write him the fanfic where we all die of old age in boring jobs and loveless marriages in our mid to late eighties. "Cancer got the best of us and left the rest to the demon incontinence." See how many upboats you don't get.

As Marty McFly would say "that is HEAVY"

I've read better fanfiction on /u/.

it's not fan fiction! It's real life. This could happen to you too! This totally plausible scenario was totally not just written so I could get my rocks off fantasizing about shooting a black person trying to break into my home.

  • /r/ conspiracy

[deleted]

That sounds hot

-/r/ conspiracy

So, wait...is the conspiracy that Jesus does love me or that he doesn't love me?

He loves you.

Well now, that doesn't make any sense. Why would Jesus conspire to love anyone? I haven't seen anything on /conspiracy about a Jesus love conspiracy.

I doubt the validity of this conspiracy, sir.

I love Jesus! Praise be to the Son of God!

Is you.

[deleted]

They were, uh... On vacation! That's it!

anybody notice that the dates for fanfiction armageddon stories have been getting closer and closer to the current date?

2014 is the time set in this story. If this is America (which I'll assume it is because fuck me, right?) then we'll be in the middle of Obama's 2nd term, and according to another article on /r/conspiracy, billionaires are selling off their stocks as fast as possible. At some point this is going to trigger the auto-trading algorithms running most of the big stock trades into going rull retard, causing major collapse of the stock markets.

But fuck all that. That's just numbers on a spreadsheet somewhere.

The real question is how do people get into a mass-riot situation? Well jobs and wages have been on a downward trajectory for decades now. I don't think it's any secret that massive inflation in food prices are set to happen in America. I don't think it's any secret that corporations want to try to privatize all water. When that happens, what choice do people have? Homeless and poor are going to be unable to purchase water, the working poor will not be able to afford basic foodstuffs, and gas prices will be far too high for anybody to handle.

At some point the Occupy movement will regain its traction lost during the highly illegal federal-organized crackdowns from years ago. This time, however, they'll be older and more wise to the casual brutality of the police and the complete disregard for the laws by the feds. The ones who come out to protest this time will be doing so knowing full well the consequences of standing up to the system.

And they'll be prepared.

Realistically, most of them will be nonviolent, but extremely pissed off. But there will likely be a much more organized, much more militant response waiting the police and federal-backed protest-busters. In clear violation of the Posse Commitatus act from the Civil War, Federal Army Striker Brigades will back up National Guard units, which will move in and neutralize all protests with extreme prejudice.

At that point, nationwide food and gas prices will be at an all-time high, while jobs (other than security/defense/defense contracting jobs) will be at an all-time low. And nonviolent protest will have been made impossible. Perhaps you think that the wealthier in our society will see your problem and come to your aid. They will not.

The occupy movement was a popular mainstream movement that had the support of tens of millions across the country, and the active support of millions more. They were painted as a small group of dirty, jobless hippies who want their gubbment cheese. The same will happen again, and your parent's generation, and those still making enough will wonder why all you lazy people can't just find jobs and take a bath.

So now you've not got the support of the wealthy or what's left of the middle class, you can't afford food, you barely have a job, or don't have one at all, you can't protest because you're basically under martial law. So what do you do?

You go underground. French resistance style.

You don't know who else you're working with and you don't wanna know, because the American government can (and have shown a willingness to) extract information about your co-conspirators' names and locations by any means necessary. So you plot in groups of not bigger than 10 or so. You plot as independently as possible to take out banks, military targets, raid food distribution sites, destroy television and news stations and cable companies, military supply depots, the diesel stores of oil refineries and military fuel depots (after all... everything in the Army runs on diesel). Anything to get the rest of the world to wake the hell up to the nightmare that now over half of Americans face, and make waging war against the American people more difficult. You are now a terrorist in the government's eyes, but you really just want food and a job with a decent wage to pay the bills.

Perhaps a few places have come to the realization that America is fucking psychotic and have taken the plunge to offer safe haven to you and your resistance cells. A few local governments extend the logistical and financial backing. This is good for you because they have supply lines extending to other countries. Food's still expensive but at least you have access to it through humanitarian means. Then those foreign food suppliers tell you "you know what? We know food's expensive... how about you just keep doing what you're doing, and we'll pay you a salary?" You take it because you'll be able to devote your full time towards fucking up the enemy's day, while getting paid. "Wait" you say, "So you're telling me that you'll pay me to do what I'm already doing? just do it full-time? Sign me the fuck up!"

So now you've got financial backing, food, water, shelter. You can now start to operate in the open. Now you can build an army. Your side takes over old military bases, sets up equipment and industrial supply chains, begins repairs and rebuilding of airplanes and drones, and manufactures explosives.

Now you have a real civil war. You go to war with these fuckers who sold your job to China, who stole your water. You've been doing this for years at this point. It's 2016 or 2018 or whatever. It's a normal thing for you now. This is your life. You recruit young idealistic kids who read the constitution and the history of the last 50 years and realize that the system is perverted beyond repair and must be overthrown. So you build your army. You wage your war.

You win some, you lose some. It's bitter, but at least you're now taken seriously as something more than a terrorist- a resistance fighter. A few men and women under your command or friends or colleagues of yours commit horrifying atrocities. You look the other way because you can't afford to lose. You need them like you need your foreign financial backers. So you ignore what they do and you don't report it.

Perhaps the victories mount because your side is lucky, and because the resistance cells behind the enemy's lines is particularly effective at disrupting supply lines, and the enemy (your countrymen) aren't really that into killing Americans anyway. The tv and media stations have long been silenced by your sides' continued bombardment of their news propaganda outlets. The internet outlets on both sides are continually under attack, and the articles posted could just as likely be propaganda for the other side as genuinely your side's rhetoric. So your enemy starts thinking for themselves. Some of them switch sides, some go AWOL, too many can't handle that they've spent the last few years killing their countrymen, so they turn their M4 around and suck-start it.

Politicians start seeing the winds shifting and either double-down on stupid, or shift sides in an attempt to preserve their own skin. You realize you're winning. Your side is actually winning. You start going to sleep each night comforted by the knowledge that those bastards who got us all into this mess are going to finally get what they deserve. That is, until one of those guys who was an architect of the mess switches sides.

Obviously he did it to save his own skin, but you know- you just know they won't let him off scott-free. After all, you've been fighting for years against this asshole and others like him. But you're not in charge. You're just a soldier, or a freedom-fighter, or a baker, or a resistance cell leader. You don't get paid to make those kinds of decisions, and "we need these people" you're told, "we can get even

more people to switch sides if we show a little leniency". You swallow that, like you swallowed those atrocities you- or was it your colleagues (you can't remember who was responsible anymore)- committed. For the Cause.

More of these assholes switch sides out of political expediency, and you begin to wonder what exactly it is that you're fighting for anymore. Nobody is being held accountable for their crimes against humanity... not even you. You blame yourself for the things you've seen, that you've done. You put your M4 (taken off a dead soldier a while back) into your mouth, turn off the safety and close your eyes.

You can't do it, goddammit. You rage, you think about all the assholes whom you fought for, you think about all the young kids you've sent to die, that you've killed yourself. You think about the cause- back in the beginning. You remember why you were fighting. You fought for accountability, god dammit. You take your M4 out of your mouth. You pack your duffle bag. You leave your fighting days behind you... mostly.

You have one more war to wage.

You get into the nearest vehicle, gas it up, and point it in the direction of that cocksucker senator that changed sides... the one that was on the committee that sounded the drumbeats of war against you and your friends and turned the world upside down. The fucker that had the audacity to switch sides and expect to be able to walk free. You are God's own vengeance.

You get to where he's holding his fundraiser. You set up far enough away to be unmolested by security, with an easy route of escape. You get him in your scope, you see his smug face. Breath in. Control your heartbeat. Breath out. Blocked shot. Breath in. Control your heartbeat.

Squeeze.

His head disappears in a red mist. The pretty aid next to him looks like she's been splashed with strawberry jam. You drop your weapon, but (due to technological advances in bullet-tracking software) you are immediately discovered. Shit. You run as fast as you can down the stairs. "if I can just get to my truck" you think. Your face hits the sunlight and you're blinded for a moment. You are captured by men who are really pissed off.

You are portrayed in the newly re-established media as an unstable combat vet. Your history of taking part in atrocities is revealed. You are publicly humiliated, and your name is destroyed by the very same people you helped to free from the oppression of the previous regime. You are not given a chance to speak, because that would be dangerous. You now know you've been duped into fighting a war for the new rulers. You are labeled a terrorist. You fought for this system. Helped create it. It compromised... and you corrected. You fought the system and lost.

Reminded me of the show "Jericho" from a few years ago.

Except that was caused by nuclear wars, not a faulty electronic debt system. Which by the way didn't even exist until about 60 years ago

damn... some seriously racist undertones in this revenge fantasy.. do people of another ethnic group make you uncomfortable when you're forced to interact with them?

Interesting read, but hard to see as a realistic possibility based on initial circumstances given above (asteroid strike, anybody?)...

Even if a clever hacker could rape his way through the "bank's" computers and cause a disruption, the bankers have ways to shut that whole process down... The scenario is too limited in its' timing and scope (less than a week for society to completely break down? only in PA?)... Nat'l guard, neighboring states, and of course feds, would be involved...

But for the sake of the story let's assume it was done. You're not taking into account the fact that it takes a special kind of person to engage in prolonged indiscriminate violence as described above. Thankfully they are vastly outnumbered by decent people who would never harm another without just cause. And with all the just cause going on, a good many of those special people who provoke confrontation would be killed or maimed by their potential victims...

Marauders won't be coming in mobs, they'll be coming in ones and twos, either in the dark of night skirting elaborate defensive measures, or during the day with smiles on their faces, and sad stories to tell... just like they do now

it takes a special kind of person to engage in prolonged indiscriminate violence as described above

actually, it only takes a hungry person with nothing to lose. After the initial breaking of the laws, it then becomes routine.

Just because a person is hungry doesn't mean he wants to rape your wife, or would align himself with somebody who does. If I asked and you wouldn't help me, I wouldn't consider using force to make you help. But you'll have to watch me die on your doorstep if I've reached my limit and can go no further

In the dystopian situation outlined above, the criminal mob would dwindle through attrition. I imagine there would also be a lot of innocent people gunned down by nutjobs like tt35 below, who anxiously awaits his opportunity to anonymously murder anybody he deems "stupid and weak" through his sniper scope.

Of course, OP lays out a temporary situation, so the chances of it devolving to the point of absolute chaos, starvation, etc, are slim

You honestly believe the national guard and DHS couldn't control mass riots with their APC's and ADS. And the part about the cops and soldiers going AWOL is completely fiction, dispite all the people effected by the food shortages I can guarantee that soldiers and cops will be well fed and taken care of during a crisis, which will be more then enough intensive to do their jobs or starve like everyone else. And a state of emergency declaration in this scenario would mean martial law,the use of lethal force, and suspension of constitutional rights.

Good read. I couldn't help to think of other countries that have gone through civil wars recently, and if how this made me feel is how the innocent people in those countries have felt. That's tough...

ATMs stop working?

Better burn down Western Civilization

categorized under erotic fiction for /r/collapse

If this happens... the basic premise, it is much like a large asteroid hitting Earth. What can we do about it we as a species shouldn't have done decades ago? If things escalate as far and as quickly as you describe, well it'll just be too bad. As you evidenced, as soon as riots form there is no protecting against this, and some form of preparations might actually be completely counter-productive. Like - "prepping" might attract starving looters, right?

What you describe is not yet happening in Greece, or most third world countries. So in essence you are describing a very extreme and black&white scenario.

Interesting speculation.

And if my mother had wheels, she'd be a Radio Flyer wagon.

The end of the current incarnation of America probably won't be some sudden apocalyptic moment - rather, it'll be a series of drawn out convulsions that will leave the patient on life support for a while before the bottom falls out. And if you're caught by surprise at that point, you have no one else to blame but yourself.

[deleted]

just read it man, its not like you have anything better to do.

It is tldr.

There are tons of better things to do than read /r/ conspiracy wish fulfillment fear porn.

In some ways, this would be the best thing that ever happened to our country. I'd load up on ammo, take a high position, and start taking motherfuckers out. Masses of them. All the stupid and weak people would not survive. It would be a great cleansing of the gene pool. When it is all over we could get back to the task of building a nation of the people by the people and for the people with engaged and active citizens. All the idiots who sit around watching TV, doing drugs, drinking and being lazy would be gone. I welcome the purge with open arms. I'd make the most of it by trying to kill as many idiots as possible.

All the stupid and weak people would not survive.

Implying you'd make the cut? Not so fast there, honcho.

edit: I feel like I should explain a little more explicitly. There's a lot of people that enjoy thinking about what they are going to do if and when the shit hits the fan. Some people stock up on weapons and ammo and canned goods. Other people stock up on knowledge and skills. I get the feeling that you are one of the types that when the shit hits the fan you see yourself stepping up to the plate, taking charge and starting to bark out orders to the people around you. What you don't understand though, and what you should understand, is that you've been factored in. And when you do that, someone like me is going to quietly come up behind you, choke you out, disarm you, hogtie you, and leave you out on the street for the horde, because people like you get other people killed for stupid reasons.

Hold up there chief. While you're sneaking up to choke that guy out, I'm going to be standing there quietly off to the side pulling out a handgun to shoot you in the head. You kill him. I kill you. Then, I'll loot both your bodies and fade into the background again.

Ha. I like the cut of your jib, Ace.

And now that you've both revealed your plans, I'm gonna be hiding... somewhere I can't tell you!!!... to throw a really big net on you both!!! And then I'll rip off my shirt and start flexing my chest muscles (which I gotta start trying to create, now that you mention it), and totally loot your wallets AND butts!!!!!!!!!!!!11

You're an idiot

by killing people and taking out the "masses" hes being just like the people who led us to that civil war. Hes not all there for sure.

This isn't at all a cuntish thing to say(!) You seem to think your an all 'MURICAN hero who would brush off a shotgun shell. Newsflash, your not, your a hateful moron who wants to kill everyone like him ranting on the Internet.

You need to be put away for you're own safety.

TIL intelligent people have +40% bullet resistance

Be sure to stay there on that "high position". It'll work out great, promise.

doing drugs and drinking?

so you would start shooting people why? Are you the Mob or are you the Suburban defender?

My boss used to talk like this. Drove me insane. Decided to buy my first gun just to make sure that when then guy comes knocking, I'm not completely defenseless.

Eric Harris for president

Though the unbridled judgement of who's an idiot couldn't go unchecked - for instance, if it was unjust I'd be forced to stop it - but other than that I'm right there with you.

It is tldr.

There are tons of better things to do than read /r/ conspiracy wish fulfillment fear porn.

That sounds hot

-/r/ conspiracy