Happiness Comes from Giving, Not Buying and Having

71  2015-10-15 by [deleted]

So many of us strive so hard for material success that you might think there was a clear relationship between wealth and happiness. The media and our governments encourage us to believe this, since they need us to keep earning and spending to boost economic growth.

From school onwards, we’re taught that long term well-being stems from achievement and economic prosperity - from ‘getting on’ or ‘making it’, accumulating more and more wealth, achievement and success.Consequently, it comes as a shock for many people to learn that there is no straightforward relationship between wealth and well-being. Once our basic material needs are satisfied (i.e. once we’re assured of regular food and adequate shelter and a basic degree of financial security), wealth only has a negligible effect on well-being. For example, studies have shown that, in general, lottery winners do not become significantly happier than they were before, and that even extremely rich people - such as billionaires - are not significantly happier than others. Studies have shown that American and British people are less contented now than they were 50 years ago, although their material wealth is much higher.

On an international level, there does appear to some correlation between wealth and well-being, partly because there are many countries in the world where people’s basic material needs are not satisfied. But this correlation is not a straightforward one, since wealthier countries tend to be more politically stable, more peaceful and democratic, with less oppression and more freedom - all of which are themselves important factors in well-being.So why do put so much effort into acquiring wealth and material goods? You could compare it to a man who keeps knocking at a door, even though he’s been told that the person he’s looking for isn’t at home. ‘But he must be in there!” he shouts, and barges in to explore the house.

He storms out again, but returns to the house a couple of minutes later, to knock again. Seeking well-being through material success is just as irrational as this.Well-Being through GivingIf anything, it appears that there is a relationship between non-materialism and well-being. While possessing wealth and material goods doesn’t lead to happiness, giving them away actually does. Generosity is strongly associated with well-being. For example, studies of people who practise volunteering have shown that they have better psychological and mental health and increased longevity. The benefits of volunteering have been found to be greater than taking up exercise, or attending religious services - in fact, even greater than giving up smoking.

Another study found that, when people were given a sum of money, they gained more well-being if they spent it on other people, or gave it away, rather than spending it on themselves. This sense of well-being is more than just feeling good about ourselves - it comes from a powerful sense of connection to others, an empathic and compassionate transcendence of separateness, and of our own self-centredness.In fact, paradoxically, another study has shown that this is one way in which money actually can bring happiness: if you give away the money you earn. This research - by Dunn, Gilbert and Wilson - also showed that money is more likely to bring happiness is you spend it on experiences, rather than material goods.

(1) Another study (by Joseph Chancellor and Sonja Lyubomirsky) has suggested that consciously living a lifestyle of ‘strategic underconsumption’ (or thrift) can also lead to well-being. (2)So if you really want enhance your well-being - and as long as your basic material needs are satisfied - don’t try to accumulate money in your bank account, and don’t treat yourself to material goods you don’t really need. Be more generous and altruistic - increase the amount of money you give to people in need, give more of your time to volunteering, or spend more time helping other people, or behaving more kindly to everyone around you. Ignore the ‘happiness means consumption’ messages we’re bombarded with by the media.

A lifestyle of generosity and under-consumption may not suit the needs of economists and politicians - but it will certainly make us happier ( via psychologytoday.com ).We would do well to heed the words of the American Indian, Ohiyesa, speaking of his Sioux people:‘It was our belief that the love of possessions is a weakness to be overcome. Its appeal is to the material part, and if allowed its way, it will in time disturb one’s spiritual balance. Therefore, children must early learn the beauty of generosity. They are taught to give what they prize most, that they may taste the happiness of giving.’" (DisloseTV)

13 comments

I hate the human nature argument that we are competitive and egoist. I mean sure, but human nature is also compassionate and sharing. Ying and Yang bro.

And lour social structure based on hierarchies and unjust power, be it from government or private entities is definitely feeding the wrong wolf.

I volunteer with BBBS, this past weekend my LB was back home from college (He recently graduated BBBS). I gave him $60 bucks for spending cash and a $50 gift card for his PS3. I also went to a benefit for a friend who got into a bad accident this past summer and I anonymously donated a butt-load to him. I know both appreciate the thought and that there are no strings attached. I on the other hand feel fucking great! :)

Thanks for the post submitter!

As you should. Keep being awesome!

I just wanted to share this neat article with the community, be well!

Giving you a +1 feels better than receiving a +1.

Giving is part of a cooperative strategy for survival. Each of our cells work together, giving and receiving services from each other. When they rebel against the whole we call it cancer. Cancer cells take and do not give. They grow out of control, dumping toxins and wasting resources for no benefit to the body.

We are cells in the body of humanity. If we give and receive we can thrive and this is the way many tribes actually live. Animals do it too. The vampire bat will actually share blood with other vampire bats, but it will remember the mooches and stop giving them blood. Some scientists believe this reciprocation mechanism may have been a cause for mammalian brain enlargement, because it encourages the recognition of identity and memory of the track record of other individuals. It works by giving gifts to each other and then feeling obligated to reciprocate by giving something from yourself.

There is another way of survival we are quite familiar with, competition. It is more destructive to others and the whole, generally. It works as long as there is a balance that keeps the damage under control, being continually healed, as in nature. Humans do not exercise competition in such balance.

Humans have created a system of competition and selfishness called money. Instead of giving each other gifts, we offer our services in exchange for money. It's focused on the self rather than the other. It compels us to serve ourselves rather than others. It causes us to behave as if there is everlasting scarcity, precisely because the system is designed to make money everlastingly scarce. There is more money owed to those that created it than there is money. An ever increasing supply of debt is key to maintaining this vortex-like system of value transfer. The system compels us to destroy nature to serve each other products which we buy in ignorance of the damage required to make them. We need to somewhat return to our old ways or metastasize onto other worlds to devour. I think this is a choice and a litmus test for the validity of the species in the greater whole. Can we control our selfish nature or will it control us and drive us toward self-destruction?

Accorting to TED talks, happiness comes from generating gratitude from the things you have.

Can confirm.

Warning it's not one of the best talks--it's kind of slow and redundant but it's worthwhile nonetheless.

true, but it should be taught at an early age.

If you haven't taken "A Life of Happiness and Fulfillment" on coursera or "The Science of Happiness" on edx, check them out. They covered this material. When people seek money, they are engaging in medium maximization, and ironically the medium of money cannot buy happiness as spending on yourself is neutral for your happiness and pleasure adaptation will quickly quash any rush you get from your Lambo or Crystal. As you said, it's about spending on others and gauging the effects of your giving, called otherish giving.

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