How to create a more positive atmosphere on this subreddit (and combat efforts to undermine it): spread truth, but maintain compassion, see the human behind the username and don't create an identity out of mental positions (which only leads to anger and suffering)

45  2017-08-03 by Jac0b777

I feel like an important point to make around these parts, since there seems to be a lot of heated discussion going on here.

If there is an effort to undermine this subreddit, the best way to beat it is to not be affected by the those that desire to undermine it.

The best tactic to undermine such a forum is to use anger and insecurities against their members. For example, a Top Minds subreddit member may link a thread or attack a user here, a user here may also directly be attacked by a reply, but the question is - why are they attacking you and why does it bother you?

First of all, the attacks are either done by people that are usually themselves experiencing cognitive dissonance and are usually confused, insecure, angry, afraid and in some form of suffering. Even the paid "shills" (God I dislike that word) are not a happy bunch. If you have people that actually agree to being paid to disrupt a forum and the truth and alternative news from coming out, you can be sure they are themselves afflicted by some form of inner turmoil and suffering. Ultimately they are human beings and must be seen as such, not simply avatars on the computer screen.

So what can we all do?

First of all, practice compassion and by doing so, forgive whoever is attacking you. This may seem simplistic, but it is the core tenet of all high level conversations. If someone is attacking YOU, then they are usually suffering themselves. I can tell you from personal experience that I have always lashed out only when I was suffering some form (and I still do whenever I'm not in a good mood). So step in their shoes and try to understand them, have compassion and empathy for them. Things aren't easy for people spreading pain. They are usually in pain themselves.

If they are attacking your argument and not you specifically, then the best way is to simply agree to disagree. You don't have to identify with the position you are holding and if you are offended when someone says your beliefs are stupid or bullshit, its time to reconsider whether you are identified with them too strongly. If you are identified with your beliefs that doesn't make them untrue of course, it just causes you pain when someone attacks them. It feels like they are attacking you, but they aren't.

This does not mean you shouldn't defend you position - in fact you can defend it much more easily if you are not emotionally invested in it, if you don't have your identity invested in it.

So simply take a few deep breaths and become aware that you are more than your beliefs, you aren't a conspiracy theorist, first and foremost you are a human being (and possibly more if you subscribe to any spiritual/metaphysical perspectives of reality).

Take a few deep breaths and relax. Conducting conversations with anger and hostility helps nobody, it definitely doesn't help spread truth, in fact it hinders the spreading of it.

Let go of your identification with your beliefs, with your identification as a "conspiracy theorist", with any such identity you may have (even "left" or "right" wing). See the other as another being, not a set of belief systems.

Look within and see why the other person is triggering you. If you want to save humanity by spreading the truth, spreading it through hostility will do you no good. The person that is not emotionally defensive of their beliefs is usually the one that is seen as "on to something" as their reality cannot be so easily rocked. But don't fake this, be this.

If someone is doubting you, let them. They aren't attacking you, they are attacking a mental position. You are not your mental positions - realize that. They are simply thoughts and beliefs in your mind. You are becoming emotional about them because you feel they are you. Notice this and let it go.

State your arguments and if they try to continue to bait you in a way you feel is unproductive to the conversation or you simply wish to end the conversation because you have no time arguing - then do so. You don't lose an argument this way. And if you are worried how you will appear to newcomers, then don't. You can't really convince people that are totally asleep anyway, they have to wake up themselves. Every good argument made without a defensive/reactionary emotional charge lends to waking them up. Defensiveness makes you look weak in comparison (but again, don't fake being internally strong, look within, let go and become strong instead).

I know this can be hard and I in no way say that I am perfect in this in my many discussions both offline and online, but to at least start moving in that direction is already a great start and is something that gives enormous benefit to you personally, as well as everyone else (including everyone on this sub, everyone searching for truth, and the whole of Earth at large).

Stay well my friends.

18 comments

If you put positivity out into the universe, you will receive it back. Wonderful post, upvoted! :)

You should ask some of the saints about that. Sometimes people are burdened with suffering. Sometimes it is a glorious thing to witness somebody suffering in joy, and sometimes people do not get goodness in return for goodness.

Yes! This is so true! :-)

I agree with you. I have been guilty a lot of shit talking. I see some smarmy comment and I get pissed. Sorry progressives for being such an asshole lately. I still stick with my guns on the issues, but I do not have to be such an asshole. I know plenty of you guys hold your views because you genuinely think it is helpful. That reminds me that I need to start working on myself more before I try to solve the problems of the world. Shit I need to work on myself a lot.

Same here :) We're all here because we have something we genuinely care about.

Yup!

Tl;dr?

The title is a good TLDR I think :)

Sounds like you said, treat each person with respect regardless of beliefs, but we also need to quickly identify one-way people, and yet even they deserve a chance. E-prime coupled with empathetic reflection mostly eliminates the causes of verbal conflict. The challenge for me seems like getting people to adopt it. I have a lot of time logged working on this, so if anyone has further interest, please AMA. I think I have a critical concern, and a solution, maybe I just haven't connected with enough people who feel strongly about clearing up the air waves. Absolutely see the same partisan and reactionary thing happening, and it does leave one feeling frustrated. Basically, a lot of what I see results from adopting essentialism as a base for language behavior. We have an alternative, but it takes a committed person to change any habit. I do think if enough people adopted language modifications, they would cascade into social enrichment on a grand scale, even transcending foreign language barriers, or it could go poorly, also we likely crossed the rubicon some years back. Still, transactionally valid language could give a tactical advantage regardless of the environment. Rant off.

I agree!

Unfortunately we have to remember there are people who are paid to mess with these threads.

I have been on this sub for a long time, and it is nothing like it used to be.

However I assume that this is just how things are now. To me it's spiritual warfare.

The best we can do is be kind and strong.

However I stand my ground when I need to.

Unfortunately we have to remember there are people who are paid to mess with these threads.

I agree. The only real way to manage this is imho to realize that and not engage in hostile debates with them - and secondly, have compassion for them as they are most likely suffering in some form to go as far as agreeing to attack people spreading the truth or even any alternative viewpoints seen on forums like this.

It's also important, as I've written above, to not be identified with mental positions. When a person attacks your mental position, your belief (a paid provocateur or simply someone that doesn't agree with you) one has to realize that they aren't the ones being attacked. The only thing that is being attacked is a belief they are holding in their mind. The suffering comes when that position is seen to be them. So when it is attacked, it feels like they are attacked. Their identity is at stake and they must defend it.

Let go of any such identities as best you can and be free.

Also if it's obvious someone is baiting you and trying to provoke and waste your time, simply kindly leave the thread and if you are bothered, disable the inbox replies. State your position and arguments then leave. Trying to change someone's mind is futile and sometimes the more you try to change it (if they aren't a paid troll) the more they will resist. So simply state your perspective, your facts, your arguments, then if the other person doesn't agree, so be it - agreeing to disagree is always a powerful option to choose.

Good points! I honestly feel that 75 percent of us are on the same page..the other 25 percent are paid.

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde

Wonderful quote.

Well said. Keep up the good work.

What you're asking is for people to have an adult mindset when most of Reddit are mentally teenagers and younger. I should know, I was a teenager, and one some days, one of the worst.

Right. On.

It's relieving to know that there remains other Seekers who go about their journey with a sense of openness. As another post highlighted recently, there are all sorts of individuals searching for answers (large and small; inside and outside.) Those who genuinely live for knowledge and truth must strive for a higher path than what is often expected, and (through persistent manipulation) encouraged from society. Thank you for sharing. Stay vigilant.

Well people were asking legitimate questions here awhile back (including myself) and receiving downvotes from one asshole user in particular, like it was his/her job.

Yeah. Really turned me off this sub.