I have memories that don't fit.

144  2017-09-07 by [deleted]

[deleted]

50 comments

First of all thanks for sharing this story

I don't think its past them to do something like this, you might be onto something with the changes in the brain and such, it makes sense imo

Those lights in MIB that makes you forget stuff, I wouldn't put it past the US military to have these kind of gadgets perhaps not like in the movie though lol

Idk about a device but definitely chemicals. MkUltra/Monarch comes to mind. I'm sure the process has been refined since the 60s/70s.

I would like to imagine they got to better memory erasing techniques than abusing and drugging people

That's more if you want to break their mind

Idk if lights to erase it, is even a stretch. They are starting to used them now with stun guns and stuff because the brain can find it super disorienting. Doubt it's a single flash of a pen light, but I agree there has to be other ways. Especially with the right funding.

Those lights in MIB that makes you forget stuff, I wouldn't put it past the US military to have these kind of gadgets perhaps not like in the movie though lol

I don't know if there's a device as such, but I've been looking into something called "Optogenetics" for the last couple of months and that allows false memories and visual and auditory hallucinations to be caused via light. From my understanding, light is fired into the brain and memory and visualisations can then be manipulated (and if anybody knows this science in more detail and can tell me how I'm misinterpreting the research then please let me know

Regarding research papers, please see some I have linked below on the topic of "optogenetics". I've only linked to research papers or mainstream sources. Bearing in mind that there are no international laws or treatises on bioengineering there's no legal or ethical obligations for scientists developing this technology to adhere to. Also, the known papers are just what is in the public domain, it could very well be the case that private entities are much further along in their research.

https://www.technologyreview.com/s/513681/memory-implants/

This article talks about memory implants. From the article (emphasis mine):

Berger and his research partners have yet to conduct human tests of their neural prostheses, but their experiments show how a silicon chip externally connected to rat and monkey brains by electrodes can process information just like actual neurons. “We’re not putting individual memories back into the brain,” he says. “We’re putting in the capacity to generate memories.” In an impressive experiment published last fall, Berger and his coworkers demonstrated that they could also help monkeys retrieve long-term memories from a part of the brain that stores them.

It can be used to control the brain remotely via light and at the level of individual neurons:

http://spectrum.ieee.org/biomedical/devices/injectable-optoelectronics-for-brain-control

It can be used to create advanced visual images in the brain (emphasis mine)

Even when detectable sensations are elicited, reports differ regarding the content of the evoked sensation. In some studies, patients reported sensations of ‘complex forms’, such as faces or visual scenes from memory [10,19,29], while in other studies only simple form sensations, such as phosphenes or colour spots, were evoked [18,20,28] (figure 1a). The circuitry of visual areas further downstream may generally support more complex electrical activity patterns that cannot be readily induced by focal electrical stimulation. We discuss in §2b(i) how these differences in evoked percept might arise from anatomical and functional differences between primary and extrastriate visual cortex in both the human and non-human primate brain.

http://rstb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/370/1677/20140206 It seems like it can also manipulate/create auditory hallucinations http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v513/n7517/abs/nature13724.html

These findings provide a synaptic and circuit basis for the motor-related corollary discharge hypothesized to facilitate hearing and auditory-guided behaviours.

Not forgetting that scientists can already manipulate memories with it: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2003/dec/04/science.research1

Tying them all together is that this research is all in mainstream science publications and the Royal Society link above already shows they are experimenting with humans (I believe it was blind people in that case).

That sounds about right mate, great research

It definitely raises questions about patents such as Nervous system manipulation by electromagnetic fields from monitors

A doctor telling you not to inform your parents? That's very, very weird.

Also, can a gynecologist verify if you've been sterilized or not? I'm only aware of tubal occlusion, and I don't know if any drugs exist. Of course, if they do, go figure the military would have that technology.

Can you summon back any familiar face that was with you? Might be helpful to crosscheck. Hell, even asking those you served with if they have similar memories.

But you have every right to wonder about these events. The US is known for doing tests on soldiers and failing to let them know.

Do you currently have "missing time" episodes? Since you mentioned suppressed memories i'm wondering if you may be dissociative. If so there is a good chance that there are more memories compartmentalised in your psyche that could answer some of your questions.

I don't have any memories of missing time. More like stuff that doesn't fit or people say never happened.

If this wasn't a case of institutional abuse I'd say to go find a psychiatrist to do some hypnosis and try to root this shit out and find the truth. Since it is I'd suggest reading up on self hypnosis and seeing if you can unlock them yourself (dangerous). Perhaps you have a trusted friend who could perform the hypnosis?

I understand new recruits are immunized with a lot of different things, things civilians don't get. Do you ever get a list with known side effects or are the contents secret? Is that possibly the cause of that weird jungle aids marker?

Possibly but we did not get anything weird. The worst thing was the penicillin shot or the smallpox vaccine I got much later.

highly interesting topic.

Very! And it's a topic that is under reported and under examined on this sub, I think.

Too much politics and fighting over what particular narrative is being bought to take a moment to stop and discuss some of the more odd things. It's like leaving your house without your phone and finding yourself having nice solitary thoughts rather than being constantly berated by people telling you what and what not to believe.

Can you tell us anything more about this STD?

Was really young but what I remember was being pulled out of class one day. They took me to a building near the hospital where I met in a small office with a female doctor. She asked if me or my parents had ever had sex with anyone from far South America or had ever visited. My parents are Midwest bible thumpers and I was a virgin so there's no way it came from them. To be honest she wouldn't tell me much and she told me not to tell my parents about it. I can't recall the name and never got any sort of paperwork regarding it, other than a appointment slip. It was never came up in my army blood tests again. Only when I donated to outside parties. I am STD free as are all my partners. But it's like a protein marker or something.

Other evidence of me contracting it in the army was all the tests done before recruitment. You have to pass drug tests and blood work, takes weeks. They would have caught it there, if it had been a pre existing condition. But it was caught 3-5 months later, after my basic training and in AIT by the Red Cross. They ran my blood and found it and reported it to the Army.

Man, that is so fucking weird.

Thank you for expanding.

Man, who are you calling man here?

It's a figure of speech, like, "man, I don't want to go outside today," or, "man, oh MAN it stinks in here!"

C'mon y'all.

I also don’t want to go outside today, cause it stinks there. Man, do you live near me?

abused :=0

I was molested by my father and my mother blamed me for it. It was just weird cause I denied and repressed a lot of it. Till one night that little voice in my head was like 'you know what that was. Admit it.' And I just kinda broke down.

I'm really sorry that happened to you. And I'm sorry for your mothers reaction. I know in these situations it's often easier (and sadly common) for people to convince oneself that the child is lying rather than accept a partner is capable of such abhorrent things. But still, these were the two people in the world you should have been able to rely on to keep you safe. I am truly sorry for what they did and you need to know , no matter what, you were innocent and blameless. I hope you are doing well now. God bless you.

Thank you, I am ok now. I did tell them both never to contact me again and if they did I would... seriously injure them. They had their chance. They hurt me and when I showed signs of PTSD they hurt me for that too. Fuck em. I don't want them in my life and I don't want to forgive them. They didn't want me alive in the first place, so I will live just to spite them. ;)

sorry.no words

Subscribes to thread

Very interesting thoughts and events you have described here, thank you for sharing. Would love to hear any more general weirdness you may have noticed with your time in the military.

It's gone...

I hope they didn't get bombarded with hate PMs...

Unfortunately I guess you will have some confirmation if you decide to try to have children. The military has full rights to you and your body once you sign up and these types of tests are nothing new. I am truly sorry if it did happen to you. Do you have any contact with other females in your unit to see if they have similar experiences?

Thank you. :) No I actually went off the grid. No Facebook or Snapchat or anything. All new emails. Reddit is about as far as I get into Social Media. But a few years ago I brought it up on a thread and other female veterans reported being sterile after their service.

I have PTSD. I was never in the military. I'm also off grid, so to speak. I was lucky to find a good therapist.

As a veteran myself I have often wondered about these things. Just look at the Tuskegee experiments... Everybody that signs that line, raises their right hand and swears an oath to our constitution puts themselves in jeopardy. Whether it be taking fire or being a lab rat.

Nice anecdote.

/r/WritingPrompts

I have a friend with fertility problems that was in the military. That's interesting. My thought though about your shark week, did you lose a lot of weight during basic? Losing a lot of weight tends to make girls lose their periods.

Losing weight, extreme physical activity, and stress can all cause missed periods

No my weight has always stayed about the same, I have eat clean and really work out to drop that much weight. I toned up for sure. I would think my body would adjust a but in 9 months though.

i wouldn't put anything past our government these days

This is probably why 99.9% of "transexuals" in the military are women that think they are men.

Can you tell us more about Fort Sill? Was that the only odd thing you experienced there?

I was in the Marine Corps. I remember during basic having conversations with a boot that was prior Army (a sergeant I think), who reenlisted to the Marines because "the Army treated him like a lab rat". About a week into basic, he was pulled and no one spoke of him the remainder of our three months on the island.

Good read

I think the military may have experimented or sterilized me.

That's just crazy...

Seriously though, thanks for sharing. I'm under no illusions that the government has gotten less sketchy since the 60s and 70s in regards to stuff like this so no one should be too skeptical about your intuitions here.

It might be interesting to try and give blood again, see if they'll tell you what the marker is so you have a place to start your research.

We WERE the second round of trainees to be co ed at Fort Sill in 20 years. Up till that point it had been a males only facility. I imagine they were watching us, regardless, to see how it went.

My friemd is absolutely positive she obtained Hep C from boot camp. She was 100% lesbian and had never had a blood transfusion.

Were you given the HPV vaccine while enlisted?

Well there are plenty of other ways to get Hep C besides a transfusion and sex (sex isn't even that common of a method of transmission). Are you saying that she may have gotten it from an HPV vaccine? That doesn't seem likely. Unless the army is using non-sterile shared needless to administer the vaccine.

No, I'm saying many have reported infertility after HPV.

I think so, yea. I remember thinking I was glad I joined cause my Mom wouldn't let me get the shot. It was a something for whores she said. lol

Stay strong!

I remember the snowden thing breaking in 2014 (had just moved home after a breakup, watched TV like a depressed sad sack) but apparently it was summer 2013 when it happened....I need someone to explain this to me. I'm like 100% positive it was 2014...

i wonder if recalling some of your deeper repressed memories from when you were younger somehow "broke" the programming or compartmentalization of your mind that held these memories of your time in the bunker. there are drugs that make your temporarily forget yet become completely complacent, and like others on this thread i dont put it past the military to do something like this.

I'm not saying the government isn't capable of doing something like this, but your evidences and past posts have lots of contradictions and its hard for me to take this post seriously.

Sounds like you were a part of one of the many USAPs where they tried wiping your memory and now it is returning. Memories will likely return as fragments until you build it back up.

Have you ever looked into ELF's. NO not elves, Extremely Low Frequency waves. It has been reported that the military has the technology. They can remotely control brain activity with ELF's. I once saw a true report (a court case) of some ex military guys who got busted raping a woman using this weapon. They were suppose to be surveilling her, but would use the device on her and enter her house and do whatever they wanted and she would have no memory of it whatsoever. They only way she caught them is she kept noticing weird things, like things out of place or food left on the counter, etc. She set up a surveillance camera and caught them doing it.

Any links?

I don't have experience related too what you're talking about, but I've read various accounts of things related too your experience. So I'll share anecdotally what could be true or possible.

You're a female, young, involved in the military, and worse you have a history of childhood sexual trauma. Involving one parent who molested you and another who blamed you for her spouses actions both parents have a relation to as you describe the bible belt, which could be a possible front for more nefarious activities within your psyche and memory.

Your situation is strange too say the least judging by what you describe and what limits ones imagination but you essentially have a memory of leaving an encaged environment into a bunker(deep underground military base) with many other women where you are all evaluated. None of this you actually remember or believe too be your own memory, and if it's not your memory it's of you and is an interpretation of your subconscious from your conscious.

In another comment you mention being pulled out of class which is similar too what's been reported on the GATE conspiracy involving kids in school being targeted and selected.

You carry a very odd genetic disposition or marker, and you've been tested and sampled voluntarily.

I think the military has been done experimenting with people for quite some time now, and your experiences might be more telling of greater trauma, but regardless trickery is afoot.

(https://augtellez.wordpress.com/)[Check out his YouTube channel if any of his content resonates with you]

Thank you for sharing, stay strong and good luck to you!

I was in the navy for a short time.... I'm convinced they put saltpeter in the water at bootcamp.

have you heard of the "20 and back" program?

Man, that is so fucking weird.

Thank you for expanding.