oh dear i'm so sorry to hear that. my condolences. my mom just passed a couple of weeks ago and we had her cremated - it seemed the most responsible thing to do. it's going to be a rough time for you, so take your time. remember the good times. god bless. btw, i felt my mom's spirit hanging around for a bit (still do), and i found talking to her about all the things i wish i had said or done differently when she was alive was very therapeutic.

there was one down the street from where she lived, and it was easiest just to go there. the cops and the whole process of that was kindof a blur. i would go for something simple and spend your time grieving instead of worrying. i doubt she would want that. so sorry, buddy. it's hard.

Try r/RedditForGrownups/.

These problems come up regularly and it's a very helpful sub.

cremation is the way to go, both in economic terms and basic civility.

Oh, man. I'm so sorry. That's fucking terrible. I hope you're holding up ok. Damn, there aren't even words.

Have you asked the hospital what low cost services are available? When my dad died the hospital referred us to a place that was very reasonable.

Take care of yourself, my friend.

I'm so sorry. When I lost my mom, cremation is what we did. I live in a small town so there were not many places to choose from. I used the funeral home that all my family had always used. I hope you are doing OK. This sub gets a bad rap for being full of crazys. But we do care about each other. If you need to talk just say so and we will be here for you.

Not sad at all! We all need someone to talk to, no mater if they are in the same room, or a million miles away thru a phone/computer screen!

I am so sorry your wife passed away! I cannot imagine what you are going through.

Most funeral homes should be very accommodating to you and your needs. I agree cremation is the way to go, don't let any funeral director talk to you into paying for embalming (not legally required), or a casket. Every funeral home that provides cremation in their services must offer an alternative casket (usually made of cardboard) to use for a cremation. And for an extra fee they will glady ship the cremated remains to your desired destination. Check the Better Business Bureau for the highest-rated funeral homes in the area you're looking for. If you decide to go the cremation route, ask the funeral home if they have an on-site crematorium. That reduces costs that would be spent on outsourcing cremation services.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and hope you're able to find some peace. Feel free to privately message me if you have any other questions. Most funeral directors may get a bad rap, but there are some of us out there that truly just want to make this process go as smooth as possible for those in mourning.

Source: trained mortician

This is terrible to hear. You have my condolences and sympathy.

Have you tried /r/LosAngeles? I think in this case they'll be more helpful than sarcastic. (Can go either way sometimes.) There's also /r/AskLosAngeles, but the main LA sub seems to get more traction.

Also, you may be able to get better prices and service east of the city in San Gabriel Valley area (Alhambra, Pasadena, San Gabriel)...a little more suburban, slightly lower rents. But maybe see what /r/LosAngeles says first.

Stay strong, and I hope you figure this out.

I'm so sorry for your loss :(

Hey man, I just wanted to let you know, that I'm truly sorry to hear about your loss. I know we don't really see eye to eye, but, much love to you and yours. Remember, this is just a ride, and everything truly does happen for a reason. The soul always lives on.

Peace and love.

You're welcome, <3!

Well said, Putes.

Hey buddy, I'm really sorry, this must be ridiculously hard.

My dad died recently and it was hard being presented with all these decisions you have to make. We had smarmy, insincere undertakers trying to guilt us into expensive caskets and ridiculous flower arrangements. Keep it as simple as possible, no frills.

I am truly sorry for your loss man. I hope you are well.

From my perspective, after a about a decade of introspective and medtative practices, I can tell you with a large degree of certainity that all beings are beyond the body and mind and never cease to exist. Thus it is very likely you will meet her again at some point in your existence.

I wish you well and may you find peace and freedom beyond any pain that may arise within you.

Sorry for your loss. I wish you well.

I follow a death positive youtuber named Caitlin Doughty. She is a mortician and owns a funeral home in LA. Google her to get an idea of what she is about. She's very anti-"corporate" funerals and is very frank about her opinions on the industry. You can find info on their cremation services here: http://www.undertakingla.com/cremations/

I am so sorry for your loss.

Right.

Nothing will ever be the same again but life has to go on. Take care!

I know you are curious :)

Stay strong!

/u/mastigia

dude... I'm so so sorry.

Went though kind of similar last year, sorry for your loss. Under the Federal "Funeral Rule" law, they must send you a price sheet of their services upon request. It sounds like you are looking for a basic "direct cremation". The prices vary regionally, but call a few places for pricing and then negotiate those offers to talk down the place you liked the best. There is room for negotiation, in my case I offered to pay immediately in full (no collections issues on their end) in exchange for a steep discount and handling some of the items on my own (I drop shipped my own urn to them from Amazon, I took care of the obituary [this was the biggest rip off of them all, if I did it over again I'd just host a web page to announce the details].

I let them know I understand they have a lot of staff and great reputation built up, but if they want my business they will need to come down a lot. I offered $X, a little more than the cheapest in town, they countered Y and we landed on a price that was about 60% of their original asking price.

Oh hon :( I'm so sorry. Yes, they are a cartel. Check out green burials in the future.

Very sorry to hear of your loss, mastigia.

I can't imagine dealing with this myself.

Holy fuck, dude. So sorry... Just lost my dad day after Thanksgiving.. Still not totally religious even after all the crazy things I've seen around here, but God bless you, dude. I may have some tips from one cartel-hater to another lol

If you're like us, you'll get a call from some funeral home saying you should come in to set up arrangements. I'd say just go ahead and go, and hope you get a nice lady like I did. She brought us back into this nice livingroom area type place, and was like, ok go ahead and sit so you can see the TV, and I was like (in my head) "whew boy, this is gonna be so corporate and slimy and how can they be moneygrubbers at a time like this", and on and on, so I just said really nicely "I'll be honest with you; I'm super poor". She was like "well, we can skip the video, and our services start at just $7000 for a plot", so I was like, "you're a nice lady and I don't want to do wrong by your business.. I am like... really poor... What do people do in these situations?" She believed me, and like I said was a genuinely nice person, so she gave me the insider skinny.

So, there will be a shuttle service that has probably taken custody of her body, and the funeral home people aren't going to tell you this, but they're not affiliated with them, meaning that you can just say "who has custody of the body, now?", and even if they are the shuttle service too, you can still not go through the funeral home to set things up. So, you ask, and they'll be like "such and such shuttle service", and you can just be like "ok, thank you. Sorry to have wasted your time". Hell, you could just call and find out just as easy, without having to go to one of those meetings (if you haven't already). lol I probably would have just done that if I'd known.

From there, you need to find out the local crematorium's price. For my dad, it was $300 -they actually charged me more because he was so fat lol- and I had to pay a dude who works there to remove my dad's pacemaker because of electronics disposal laws and burning batteries and all that. That is one thing to consider: He told me that I was lucky that I came in when he was there, because it's not every crematorium that has facilities and certified staff to accommodate things like that, and I for sure wouldn't be able to do it, so if she had a pacemaker or any kind of implant, you'll have to get that removed some place..

After that, I scheduled services in the HS auditorium where he taught, posted it everywhere, and we had almost a packed house of old students, colleagues, friends. It was actually really really nice. We had a preacher do his thing, which was another $150 (we knew the guy and he was willing to do it probono, so we gave him that. Not sure what the going rate is), but we did stuff like tell stories and let anyone come up and tell us one as well. Ended up being really fun/funny, actually. A whole bunch of old schools ended up sending flowers, old colleagues did too, and we ended up buying like $100 worth of them, so it was really full looking. Didn't have a casket to bring in, of course, so that was awesome. Ended up just making a snack plate of meats and cheeses and breads and crackers for the after funeral part, whatever that was called. It wasn't very good, probably the worst part of the funeral, but I think people understood. All told, though, it went from this like "omg my dad just died what do I do I'm not old enough to plan a funeral" to this really nice, sentimental, funny, sad, celebration of my pops, and it only cost ~$6-700 by the end.

A lot of people get together at a parent/child/friend's house for the memorial service, then just choose to do a private funeral, which I only mention because I'm pretty sure you don't have access to a random auditorium to host for you.

We ended up going and (after a lot of research) mixing his ashes into some soil with a few additives so that it wouldn't just poison the ground and then planted an oak tree because of sentimental junk. That, too, I felt, was really nice, and I think he would have approved.

So, yeah man, I wish you all the best during this shitty shitty time you're in right now. I'd totally answer any questions, too

Sorry for your loss.

CBC did a short doc on this subject. Long story short, there's money to be made and the customer is almost guaranteed to be in a vulnerable spot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRNaqntsLPI