The "warning" seems like a pretty big stretch, imo. There's a difference between trying to reinforce the value of Family on a child who doesn't quite understand that Aunt Mae might not be there when she's older, and "feeling obligated" to physically reciprocate on a date.

I really don't think asking your daughter to hug her aunt (my example) is going to make her think she owes that guy who paid for her dinner anything in return- the guy knows what he's getting into, and though he may hope for reciprocation he's an idiot if he doesn't at least acknowledge the chance of it not happening...

I agree it's a stretch, but I also think it's not great to guilt or badger your kids into hugging someone when they don't want to.

We rarely see our grandkids, so it takes them a few days to warm up during visits. Their parents will prompt them to 'say hello' or 'say goodbye' but how they do it is up to them.

Sometimes it's a wave, sometimes they just say it, once one of them gave me a dinosaur(so sweet!), and sometimes they give us hugs and kisses. I like the idea of teaching a kid that you do have to be respectful and loving, but you don't have to show respect or love physically.

Yeah, no.

Will I? Please say more.

The small nuclear family run by a breeding couple is rather new. Most humans live in large family groups among other large family groups. Do you have evidence that disagrees with this?

'A breeding couple'. Okay. I'm just going to pass on having a discussion about this. I don't study humans as if I weren't one of them. Best of luck to you.

I don't either. Child rearing? Relax good Lord.

He is right, the norm is large extended families and an even larger group of extended "tribe" all helping each other out.

The large family only bought one car, one radio, one TV, often one house or farm and shared it. So the nuclear family concept was pushed by the governments of the western world and Madison Avenue pr firms. Splitting the large family up tripled and quadrupled the sales of houshold electronics, cars, houses etc as every new couple needed all that stuff rather then sharing it with the extended family.

A nice TIL for you guys.

I'm aware of tribal living. I'm from Appalachia where it's common for generations of a family to still live either in the family homestead or in a handful of small houses or mobile homes on family land.

Aside from Madison avenue, I'd say the slave trade and the industrial revolution took their toll.

My quibble with OP was that it's a leap to assume the nuclear family is 'broken' by default with an extended family is automatically happy. Many of those extended families are my relatives and while they're relatively happy, they aren't noticeably happier or healthier than any 'mom, dad and 2.5 kids' families that I know.

Modern life has fractured peoples lives in much more than one area.

Making your kid hug people against their will does send confusing messages about consent tbf.

"Adults can't touch you without your permission except when they can."

<3

Oxytocin is one hell of a drug

Developmentally, absolutely.

its my favorite drug. cuddles are the best thing ever.

The first article reduces hugs to "It sounds simple; just get a hug a day and you’ll be releasing oxytocin all over the place and you’ll enjoy steady health."

So instead of hugs being beneficial because of meaningful connection, they are beneficial because they release chemicals that make you feel better.

It's almost like science is implying that relationships can be reduced to oxytocin. When in reality...we are much more than physical beings. We are individuals who seek meaningful relationships. The oxytocin is the effect, not the cause, of these beneficial effects.

It's not just hugs but physical contact that influences you. As humans we are hard wired. A connection with another being is another positive effect, but the takeaway is physical contact by itself is beneficial. Studying one does not make the other incorrect.

The physical contact is a result of emotional contact. The emotional contact is the cause. The physical contact is the effect.

The point I'm making us that things originate from within, not without.

Studies show both are positive and while can be combined they do not need to. Two effects that can combine.

people can't read minds and babies have almost no emotional intelligence. babies of many different animal species(including humans) will literally die if they receive no physical contact, and the intent is irrelevant.

So, because I am not American and genuine curious,may I ask how are hugs demonized and who "they"are ?

Aha.and how are hugs demonized?

they're trying to paint it as a pedopheliatic act.

I have to guess what "pedopheliatic" is supposed to mean. Anyway, still don't know how they are doing it.

a horrible adjective for "pedophelia".

Who is "they" and how are they demonising hugs?

And how did we get to "hugs = pedophilia" from "kids shouldn't be made to do things they don't consent to" (pretty much the opposite of pedophilia)?

"they" is a dog whistle for jews

Lol number 1 I'm not a jew, and number 2, yes it is.

I feel like you implied I was jewish. Hence the persecution complex comment.

It is our Calvinistic history.

you know what i think is awesome? that four of my favorite users are commenting on this post!

mad hugz to /u/HibikiSS, /u/TheMadQuixotician, /u/RMFN, & /u/bradok

and much love to the rest of the organic users in this sub!

I also think it's part of the conditioning to keep more people feeling isolated from their neighbour and fellow people, which in turn lets the government manipulate and control mass populace easier.

You hurt my feelings.

This is already a reality here in Japan. They believe that if you hug your children they will grow up to hate you. Pretty fucked up, right? Needless to say, they have a strange idea of what love is. Just watch their porn, it's sickening.

I've definitely met Japanese families that hug, but it's very few and far between. Kids don't quite understand love here. If the population keeps declining like it has been there will be too many old people to take care of within our lifetime.

I always wonder when and why it started. Maybe it's been like this for a long time, but I doubt it.

Does western pornography just do hugs until marriage? Are you even allowed to watch uncensored porn in Nippon?

What do you mean exactly?

I think he means more of the weirder stuff I guess. I don't know what exactly he watches but just like YouTube PornHub has a weird side

My point is the nation of japan is a very insular society where its easy to trace the inspiration from previous artworks, and if you view them through a lens of puritanical morality then you are setting yourself up for failure.

Let's take a famous example, the 'tentacle porn' genre started because of the morality laws forced on them by the US in the treaty after ww2 and did not allow any nudity. It was illegal to show a penis but 'dick shaped tentacles' are a legal loophole around these morality laws. The law has since changed, but they still censor any porn not made exclusively for export.

The guy I replied to seems to believe that there is a systematic pattern of intentional moral degradation in Japan. I'm arguing that they're trying to find something that "sells" just like the stock market and that a person can't point fingers like that anymore than an Oriental can say that "cheeseburgers and honey boo-boo are destroying western society."

Its an extremely broad overgeneralized of the issues at best, and its elitist hobsnobbery at its worst.

Oh wow i never knew that tell you the truth. Thanks for the porn fact pretty cool knowing why that actually started. I always kinda wondered how the tentacle thing came to be but now I do.

Thats how I figured it too.

The censorship laws are from 1907, which if I remember correctly is LONG before WWII. I didn't say anything about a "systematic pattern of international moral degradation". I said that not hugging is hurting them as a culture.

I'm not talking about tentacle porn. I'm talking about the fact that Japanese porn has always been extremely degrading to women and they almost always scream like they're getting raped. And yeah, western porn has caught up pretty quick. I could explain my case further but you obviously know everything.

"Elitist hobsnobbery" lol. How ironic.

The Meiji Restoration is what your talking about and they did not physically "censor" wood cuts, it was "censorship" of western ideas with a ban on pornography. The same way the US government "censors" child pornography by making it illegal. You think japan had TVs in 1907?

The terms of the US treaty said they could have porn but couldn't show genitalia, which is the "censorship" I was referring to.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Censorship_in_Japan#History

Non-Mobile link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Censorship_in_Japan#History

^{HelperBot v1.1 /r/HelperBot_ I am a bot. Please message /u/swim1929 with any feedback and/or hate. Counter: 181376}

Holy shit. Are you fucking serious? Did you even read the article you posted? The Meiji Restoration was in the 1800s. You seriously have no idea wtf you're talking about. Try some reading comprehension friend. Maybe a hug will help you.

Because Liberals.

sounds like a NEET who is angry that he can't go to the park and hug random kids.

I went to a yoga class where it ended with the instructor telling everyone it was time for hugs. At first I was majorly creeped out, but after hugging everyone in the room there was literally love radiating out of everyone. I mean you could feel it in the air!

If that sounds hippy dippy, I don't give a damn. We are stingy with love and affection here in America, and I think it hurts our society.

I felt such a strong burst of positivity and wellbeing after that yoga session. My friends all nervously agreed it was a great way to end the hour.

Hahaha, no way. It was totally okay to opt out. Some people left and it was just fine.

I was there with a group of about 5 friends. We started off hugging each other but then we all mutually said fuck it and hugged the whole room. It was beautiful!

You can’t forget the /s lol I learned the hard way that a lot of people here can’t see it without the /s

yeah I thought he legit meant it lol

On the internet you can never know if someone is crazy or not.

How's that a conspiracy exactly?

Our minds are being played with

Why would I?

How do I steep myself in the light? Because I feel like the dark is trying to take me

I would recommend a meditative and/or introspective practice of your choosing. The light is there, it is your natural state. All you have to do to access it is to be present in the moment and aware- aware of both the peace and light that is here now, as well as the darkness.

The more aware you are of the stillness, peace and light, the more it will grow. The more aware you are of the darkness, your shadows, the more they will dissolve (as long as you embrace and do not resist them). Awareness is key.

Whenever you encounter pain and shadows, allow yourself to embrace them and let them go.

I'll link you to two articles on my site that may be helpful:

-Embracing and Dissolving Inner Pain and suffering

-Awareness, the Key to Mental, Emotional and Physical Freedom

The dark is trying to take us all with a monstrous appetite. Id start by controlling your own appetite; The ones for hunger, pleasure and even information. Youll find the first light when you succeed.

Why is it always "they" these days? In this case it should be referred to as "ABC news", or at most stretched to "MSM" if you had sourced other articles.

I believe that the occult world government is inducing conditions that dismember family Units via mass media propaganda.

However, I am also sensitive to how these notions are perceived by not only laymen, but organizations that have the power to censor. Stop using vague terminology that could be perceived as vague racism to trolls - and start calling a spade a spade.

https://youtu.be/1L_UKv19P9E?t=5m45s love these guys, especially at 6 minutes in.

I watched the footage when the Chilean miners were freed. Every single miner gave a huge hug to someone when they were freed. I saw this a couple years ago, it struck me how everyone resorted to this.

There are so many things which diminish our capacity to feel normal love and positive feelings. Human skin on skin contact, for one.

I hear what you're saying but on the flip side of that when my daughter tells me to stop hugging or tickling or wrestling with her I generally do because she should expect nothing less and I don't want to be responsible for conditioning her to expect anything else in life as she gets older if that makes sense. Doesn't usually take much to convince her to give me a hug anyway and it wouldn't do much good to teach her the lesson that nobody should touch you if you don't want to be touched and then turn around and be the one giving her unwanted affection.

Maybe I've misread this post but are you saying there's a conspiracy to normalise pedophilia because someone on Reddit brought up children being hugged against their will by family members and said that this was a bad thing in a discussion about children, consent and abuse?

Aha.and how are hugs demonized?

a horrible adjective for "pedophelia".

Our minds are being played with

My point is the nation of japan is a very insular society where its easy to trace the inspiration from previous artworks, and if you view them through a lens of puritanical morality then you are setting yourself up for failure.

Let's take a famous example, the 'tentacle porn' genre started because of the morality laws forced on them by the US in the treaty after ww2 and did not allow any nudity. It was illegal to show a penis but 'dick shaped tentacles' are a legal loophole around these morality laws. The law has since changed, but they still censor any porn not made exclusively for export.

The guy I replied to seems to believe that there is a systematic pattern of intentional moral degradation in Japan. I'm arguing that they're trying to find something that "sells" just like the stock market and that a person can't point fingers like that anymore than an Oriental can say that "cheeseburgers and honey boo-boo are destroying western society."

Its an extremely broad overgeneralized of the issues at best, and its elitist hobsnobbery at its worst.

Oh wow i never knew that tell you the truth. Thanks for the porn fact pretty cool knowing why that actually started. I always kinda wondered how the tentacle thing came to be but now I do.

Thats how I figured it too.

The censorship laws are from 1907, which if I remember correctly is LONG before WWII. I didn't say anything about a "systematic pattern of international moral degradation". I said that not hugging is hurting them as a culture.

I'm not talking about tentacle porn. I'm talking about the fact that Japanese porn has always been extremely degrading to women and they almost always scream like they're getting raped. And yeah, western porn has caught up pretty quick. I could explain my case further but you obviously know everything.

"Elitist hobsnobbery" lol. How ironic.