Questions about being woke
1 2018-08-26 by IDontWearTinHats
I’m just making an account but I’ve scrolled R/Conspiracy for awhile now. I’ve just wondered a few things and I feel like the people of this subreddit can answer them for me. I’m 25 years old, but when I was younger (probably 12-14 years old) just one day out of the blue I had a completely random emotional breakdown. I started screaming and crying and had an uncontrollable fear of dying and seems like since that day I came off of auto-pilot. My life seemed like I was just doing everything completely subconsciously and didn’t really “remember” my life prior to that. But now, it’s like every single day my life is more vivid and in a sense more “realistic”. I feel like I have more control over my self but then I feel like I’m in a stage of “derealization”. My anxiety is always through the roof, my brain functions at a different level (more critical thinking, my senses feel heightened, and this may sound crazy but I sense of smell even feels different.) it’s almost like I’m seeing life in a different state. The grass is greener, I step outside and take a deep breath and the smell is almost a type of euphoria to me. And when I was introduced to R/Conspiracy it seemed like I understood the posts a lot more. I show my friends the subreddit and they think I’m crazy when I show them the content on here. But as I continue to wake up everyday I see commercials/news and it’s like I see through the bullshit that they’re trying to advertise but nobody else around me does. I feel like as I was going up I was just being “distracted” from life. But after having a breakdown, I feel as if it was a wake call for me. So I had a couple questions and really this is somewhat a type of vent. But am I “woke”? I feel like I’m crazy because of the way people talk to me because I notice the things they don’t when it comes to events/news.
Has anyone else had something like this happen to them?
Do you feel like you just woke up off “auto-pilot” one day?
Does anyone else deal with anxiety like this too? Do you have ways of calming it? (I sometimes have to even pull over because I feel like I can’t breathe)
Am I crazy or have I really just opened my eyes to this world as it really is?
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, I hope I’m now violating any rules for posting this here. But I’ve seen lots of reddit post and the people on reddit would actually interact with questions like these and provide sensible answers and I just don’t know anyone around me I could actually ask these questions or talk on this situation without someone calling me crazy or just ignoring me in all.
26 comments
1 historyeraser4sale 2018-08-26
Wow bro....describes my experience to a T ...this all happened to me also at that critical "twilight of innocence" age ...
1 IDontWearTinHats 2018-08-26
It was a very life changing point of my life. I feel as if I have a purpose now because my main goal is to help people. If I just help one person a day get through a struggle/problem I feel a sense of accomplishment. Also, thank you for your response. It’s a good feeling to me knowing I’m not alone and others feel the same way as I do.
1 historyeraser4sale 2018-08-26
I have referenced initiation rituals of traditional cultures, of which you can see good photos in national geographic and the like. Some rituals are intense, brutal, and mandatory for all the children of the culture. The modern world doesn't really practice rituals to the extreme degree observed in times long past....
1 KickedinTheDick 2018-08-26
Which is why we have an ego problem and what one might term as a noble Savage doesn't suffer from it. Many cultures experience being on the cusp of death in these initiation rites. This strips them of their fear of death and therefore the ego goes with it (not that these "less civilized" cultures have an ego problem to begin with)
1 VLeighPoe 2018-08-26
My experience in waking up is very similar to this. Though, i was a bit older (early twenties) before i started rubbing the sleep from my third eye.
I feel like the ship of Theseus sometimes. Completely the same but entirely different. I write to keep my thoughts in line. Helps with my anxiety a bit.
1 IDontWearTinHats 2018-08-26
I feel so overwhelmed at times with anxiety. I was/am prescribed medicine for anxiety (Klonopin) but I’m currently in a Drug Court program and they’ve prohibited me from using it so I’m not as calm as I was. It’s really upsetting knowing the justice system can go against the orders of my doctor because they “don’t see it fit for me”. Honestly just seeing you and the other user replying is such a sense of relief. Knowing other people have/do feel the same way makes me feel a lot better. So I would like to thank you for the response.
1 VLeighPoe 2018-08-26
Not a problem at all. In fact, thanks for posting. I've recently signed up to reddit to find kindred spirits/like minded individuals. Everything can be so overwhelming at times. Anytime you need a chat, I'm a pretty good listener(reader)
1 Pologrounds 2018-08-26
"Being woke" is sort of a derogatory concept. It's so "bro-y". I call it truth-seeking. You lift the veil from your eyes and start to see reality for what it is. I'm trying to delve beyond anyone or me in any past life that's ever gone before me in both thought and knowledge for the benefit of my soul's progression or escape from the matrix.
You seem to be living more in the present, the now, and just being in the moment. And you seem to be thinking critically, taking nothing at face value. That's what it's all about.
1 IDontWearTinHats 2018-08-26
Thanks for your response. And being honest the only reason I say “being woke” is because it’s a term that’s been burnt into my vocabulary. Definitely don’t want to be in the “Bro” category, they are a shame to the community into which people like us reside in. I see the news and everything I hear them speak on, I don’t take it at face value. It’s like my brain takes what they say and processes every possible options of what they’re trying to hide/distract us from in that particular subject. I’m still shocked at how people are not questioning the Vegas shooting (but to be fair, a lot of people are skeptical of it and are asking question now.) it’s like I’ve realized how shitty our GOV really is towards us and how they try to deceive us. But I’m glad my third eye is now operating and I can see the world how it really is. I hope that there’s a day where the masses will too begin to realize the lies that are fed to us and begin to question EVERYTHING. Because we are not being told the truth and it’s a shame that we have to be this way. I’m honestly happy my mind functions the way it does and that I’m more in tune with myself because it’s made me a better person in all because I treat people differently but in a better way.
1 PiggyDota 2018-08-26
I've had weird experiences like this:
I feel like these experiences helped me to become more "awake". I feel like since then I have been able to look at things from a wider and clearer perspective.
1 venCiere 2018-08-26
No, having a “breakdown” out of the blue is not typical of becoming “woke.” Becoming aware of propaganda that is pervasive in the msm, seeing the oligarchy move our entire society with deception, becoming aware of suppressed research exposing deliberate harm to the masses, all this can be overwhelming. Once you can conceive that innocent, upstanding ppl can have such evil in their intent, you are able to judge everything with that possibility in mind, and it becomes very easy to identify —and it’s so rampant. I would imagine this realization when you are in adolescence would be very traumatic. Recently I sent an article dealing with nih researchers questioning cdc policy decisions based on how cdc interpreted purported research studies to make their recommendations, finding “systematic bias btw. This person, incredulous even now, asked, ‘why would they want to hurt us?’ This is the beginning of waking up.
Sounds like you have clinical anxiety and it causes an even more acute response to these terrible truths becoming apparent. I hope your treatment helps and that you’ll give yourself breaks from this heavy knowledge. Try to make a difference in your own life, how you choose to eat, maybe, and be a consumer of products from the system. Enjoy the beautiful world we still have and seek God, who will strengthen you and give you hope that He will set all things to right in due time. Eventually some of your friends will realize something in rotten in the world. And then you may also have a little support. Until then, we are here and we know what you are talking about.
1 IDontWearTinHats 2018-08-26
It’s a great feeling to yourself seeing past the propaganda realizing that you’re catching all their bullshit lies but then again it’s so saddening to know there are millions of people who just go with the flow and believe what they’re being showed on the MSM. I hope that one day the masses will team up against the elite and we can fight the corruption and can overlook the smoke and mirrors they use to lie to us. A lot of people in this world we live in do not realize the power we could have if we all came together as one.
1 IDontWearTinHats 2018-08-26
Thank you. I have been seeking God. I don’t really speak religions on Reddit because of trolls and how they respond to it. But I’ve had issues in the past where I would question my faith but as I’ve grown I’ve sat and thought of all the things that’s happened to me and how I should be in a wooden box in the ground and that’s what made me keep my faith. I believe in God and I don’t care what anyone else thinks or how they feel about it. I will RESPECT your opinion on religions/God but we are all entitled to our own beliefs. I will not knock someone for not believing, but I will tell my story and why I believe in God. I have friends who are Atheist/Satanist but I will not treat them any different even though their beliefs are completely opposite to mine because no matter their beliefs we are all still people. We all still have emotions and encounter problems just like everyone else and I will love everyone no matter their skin color, beliefs, etc. we are all equal and as long as there is a breath in my body I will respect and love every being and treat them as I would want to be treated as well. That’s a big issue in the world today, we don’t respect each other and that’s what causes many, many issues. The elites want to separate us and cause us to hate each other and I will not follow suit and treat anyone different with hatred because we don’t agree or see eye to eye on certain things. I show nothing but love for everyone because I, in my personal opinion think that’s how everyone should conduct themselves. Because at the end of the day as I stated above we are all regular people and we all deal with problems and situations and even though we may not think the same, if I can help that person overcome a problem and relieve some stress/sadness I will do so to my best ability.
1 Yellowtag1 2018-08-26
This answer will get downvoted to hell but if you were "woke" you wouldn't be asking people if you were really "woke". It's kinda like asking the birds in your backyard if what the meaning of life is. Most of them wouldn't understand the question and the one that did understand, wouldn't be able to communicate it back to you in a way that would make sense. You don't need any type of validation from ANY outside source. You would just be and enjoy the scenery. No disrespect at all... Just an observation.
1 IDontWearTinHats 2018-08-26
I understand what you’re saying and i don’t take it as disrespect at all. To be honest with you, the reason I posted was because lately I really thought I was going off of the wagon. I don’t mean to post as attention seeking or anything like that. Seeing all of the replies and taking in the different answers does give me a sense of relief though because I don’t have people around me that think like this and when I try to talk about it there’s either no response back or they don’t understand what I’m trying to talk about. I’m pretty sure I worded my post incorrectly but what I really meant was do people feel this same way as I do? Is this a normal thing when you hit this stage of life? I’m sorry if I came off any other way, it wasn’t my intentions. But thank you for your response regardless.
1 Yellowtag1 2018-08-26
I hear what you're saying. To answer your question, no most "normal" people don't feel the way that you do. But it's only because they have bit down hard on the "trappings" of modern life. But thats not a bad way to live life either. It's only because you've caught a glimpse behind the curtain and the emotion of that experience and you probably also know what a profound impact its had on your own life that you want to share it. But please realize that most people probably can't handle having their concept of reality shook from it's moorings. So because people dont question the things they think they think it never goes anywhere. Hence the lack of conversation partners. The best thing imho is to trust yourself, what you've experienced and allow that to direct you through this mine field called life. If you come across a kindred spirit on your adventure, then more power to you. If not, it's just as well.
1 dirtydanisreal 2018-08-26
You have ADHD by any chance? I'm the same age, I'll notice things that I have no clue how people don't see or can't handle. I think people just are on a higher plane of understanding. The way my brain works, I just retain massive amounts of information and when something fishy happens most of the time something clicks. I just can see through the shit, I notice when people are going through the programmes motions. Things that people have trouble comprehending just come easy to me or are obvious to me. Now I'm not gonna say I'm a genius or anything but I seem to think about concepts people don't think about or have trouble grasping. Something I've noticed. My brain just works different
1 IDontWearTinHats 2018-08-26
I’m not sure if I have ADHD, but I feel like I have that, maybe ADD. It’s hard for me to focus but I manage somehow. Something I enjoy doing is im really into tech and I’ll get on YouTube and browse for hours about how certain tech things work or DIY projects and it’s really a stress reliever. I’ve tried adderall but with my anxiety being so severe it would just increase my heart rate and I would still be a nervous wreck. I have a tendency to abuse ANYTHING and it just didn’t mix well with me. I function the exact same way though, I hear things and question it or put any information I’ve gathered/learned about a subject and basically do my own research and formulate an opinion/view on it. I stated earlier in the post that I’m apart of a Drug Court program due to a stupid choice in 2015 and I have to call daily a landline that plays a recording between 8am and 10am to see if I’m testing (I’m assigned a color and if they say my color in the recording I go test that day) and we have very strict rules (no alcohol, we have to watch what we take medicine wise because it can cause false positives, etc.) I’ve seen a pregnant girl fail a drug test in my program because she used a particular hair spray that has alcohol in it and it made her test positive for alcohol. It really takes a toll on me because I’m nervous that I’ll fail a test due to some unknown reason and you have a maximum of 5 years to complete the program or you get revoked and go serve your sentence. But my brain only knows one way to calm myself and it’s pain killers (I’m a recovering addict). So it’s definitely a big weight on my shoulder because I stay stressed out and I can’t talk to anyone because people will ask me what’s wrong and I’ll said “I don’t know” and I honestly don’t. So I don’t know how to explain my problem. I know there is no excuses to relapse because of stress but it’s bad habit I’m trying to break going on a long time now. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Just dealing with that and the fact that people think you’re a crazy conspiracy theorist wears me down completely mentally, emotionally, and physically. Sorry if I turned this into a vent replying to your post, it was not intended. Thank you for your response also.
1 Apersonofinterest666 2018-08-26
Get woke, Go broke.
1 nicevibuation 2018-08-26
Wow! So i am also 25 now. I do also feel an intense desire to help others. I have recently been discovering more about my 'waking up' - I am going to PM you :-)
1 IDontWearTinHats 2018-08-26
I would just like to thank everyone who has posted. The fact you have taken time out of your day to provide feedback and advice is greatly appreciated and I can’t thank you enough.
1 Outofmany 2018-08-26
A lot of people think that being woke is to know that the world isn't a terribly great place. That's partly true. Life is really hard, it always has been. Much of the trappings of modern life are to blame this on some external source, hunger, discomfort, poverty etc. Which serves to say "Life ought to be different" which serves only to make you feel that if you're not 'happy', you're doing something wrong. That just creates the conditions for anxiety - being unable to accept reality. Then we go and live our lives forgetting that we will eventually die.
The first step is to straighten yourself out emotionally. Don't buy into this idea that a good life is full of passion. Some people are romantic, some people are passionate about the suffering in the world. It's fine to do anything but it's not fine to inject so much FEELING into everything. This just creates a roller coaster effect and worsens anxiety. This applies as much to conspiracy theorists, and people who 'care' about others' suffering as to someone who is unable to speak publicly. So much emphasis is put onto how one feels that it's crazy making. There are certain ways which you have to deal with persistent feelings which I won't get all into here but in general your feelings aren't practical at all and don't define who you are.
With anxiety, much of it is the modern lifestyle, work, getting cut off in traffic etc. We tend to live in states of high cortisol, and we also tend to have adrenaline spikes - good for short term survival, bad for health and long term well being. I found a few people that were recommending getting tested for mineral deficiencies as treatment for anxiety. That's a bit involved, however one thing you can try which I do is start taking magnesium supplements. Most people are deficient and it's an essential mineral and it instantly brings down anxiety. This is the one I take, https://express.google.com/u/0/product/6071494331872419368_2132466290855036616_254779?utm_source=google_shopping&utm_medium=tu_cu&utm_content=eid-lsjeuxoeqt,eid-ptgtgfeotu>im=CJe04-iz3ejarQEQvLmnga-2wbnDARjwqPYDIgNVU0QokJvH3AU&utm_campaign=254779
1 IGnuGnat 2018-08-26
I think that seeking out truth - and this means, to me, being somewhat of a skeptic - should be a goal above goals; at the same time when or if it starts to intefere with your mental, emotional, physical or spiritual wellbeing, it is ok to take a step back, to take a break, to get up and walk way from the world, the MSM, the internet, social media, cell phones.
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I like to just go camping up North in the woods and get away. Nature and green spaces has a way of cleaning out the rust and refreshing ourminds.
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Consider: stoicism.
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What are you afraid of? Nobody in human history has ever gotten out alive in the end. As individuals, we can not change this; there is no escape.
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If you can't change it, set it aside; don't spend too much time worrying about it. Death is certain, so in a way, it doesn't matter. Focus your energy, as much as you can, on what matters.
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There is a theory that there is a spectrum of neurotransmitter disorders which may include: anxiety, depression, migraines, epilepsy, irritable bowel, fibro myalgia may all be disorders which are involved with or mediated by neurotransmitters.
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Many medications are chemical analogues of natural herbs. If you look at how your medicine acted, or it's mechanism of action on your brain, you may be able to find an herb with similar properties. eg. research, study and try careful experimentation with: st. johns wort, kava kava, or maybe feverfew, hops or, look into the spaces between prescription drugs, and herbs, for non prescription chemicals or natural supplements like: lions mane, rhodealia rhosea, noopept, or amino acids like acetyl-l-carnitine, phenylalanine, NAC or l-glutamine, do your own research but always check with your pharmacist first. be slow, careful and wary; all of these things are considered generally very safe but if it can help with depression, anxiety or mania or mood or emotional disturbances, it can also trigger them. Caution highly recommended, but in the end we are responsible for our own health or the only ones able to really care for it,
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Onwards,
1 toneii 2018-08-26
Could be a state of induced psychosis, created by a deficiency of skepticism.
1 lordfarquar420 2018-08-26
I had a moment when I was 19 or 20 when I was walking down my dorm hallway and it felt like a switch had been flipped in my brain. I remember the moment very well, dont think I'll ever forget it. I just had this need to "consume" Is the closest thing I could describe it as.
1 whenipeeithurts 2018-08-26
Anxiety comes from knowing deep down that there is a second death we are headed for after the first physical death:
Rev 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
If you are born once (physically) you will die twice. If you are born twice (physically and spiritually) you will die only once (physically):
Joh_3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
All you need to do to be born again and not experience the second spiritual death is repent and believe this:
1Co 15:1 Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand; 1Co 15:2 By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain. 1Co 15:3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; 1Co 15:4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:
1 Yellowtag1 2018-08-26
I hear what you're saying. To answer your question, no most "normal" people don't feel the way that you do. But it's only because they have bit down hard on the "trappings" of modern life. But thats not a bad way to live life either. It's only because you've caught a glimpse behind the curtain and the emotion of that experience and you probably also know what a profound impact its had on your own life that you want to share it. But please realize that most people probably can't handle having their concept of reality shook from it's moorings. So because people dont question the things they think they think it never goes anywhere. Hence the lack of conversation partners. The best thing imho is to trust yourself, what you've experienced and allow that to direct you through this mine field called life. If you come across a kindred spirit on your adventure, then more power to you. If not, it's just as well.