Marijuana really helps me cope with my anxieties, as it simply helps me to keep too many simultaneous thoughts out of my head, and focus on what I want. When I first became aware of the breadth and depth of government corruption I became obsessed with discerning truth from fiction. I spent as much as 14 hours a day reading about it, I was just dumbstruck with the things I was reading, and it sort of took over my life.

Here we are about 1 year later and I mostly play Battlefield 3 because I'm laid off, and waiting for work. I may spend an hour or 2 a day researching and discussing conspiracy theories these days, and it doesn't always occupy my thoughts anymore. I've just learned to live with the knowledge (beliefs) I have, and to hope for the best. I feel as though it's my duty to spread awareness, but to not become engrossed in it. I often feel as though I'm just along for the ride, and there isn't much I can do accept prepare, and convince others to do the same.

We certainly can't save everyone, but we might be able to save ourselves and the ones we love. I'm not saying I'm totally convinced that some sort of apocalyptic event is going to happen, but I am saying it might.

EDIT: I just want to add that marijuana is only good as an anti-anxiety solution in very small doses.

Living in Holland here, been really smoking a lot less since I've got here. I hear you on the general malaise thing, but if you want to do something about it, the power is on your hands. The trick is, for me, is to realise that these issues are your responsibility & yours only, so it's up to you, and no one else, to deal with them.

What works for me - yoga, running, chopping wood, baking cakes and as all that doesn't completely sort me out; St John's Wort. Seriously, that stuff is incredible, you can get a years supply for 20euro (1kg of powder), it doesn't take anything away from you like the SSRIs, but it feeds your energy, your light. It's a beautiful little herb which just loves holding your hand. It doesn't mix badly with lots of other drugs, medicinal & recreational, so do your research, but it really helps me.

We're heading for a preiod of transititon, we need to be strong, level headed & with as few needs/addictions as possible. Think about CBT (Cognative Behavioural Therapy), that one can really work in re-wiring your brain, and if you do it yourself, you do it on your terms. It's a great thing about CBT, you can totally do it on your own!

Other than than, buy some silver & gold, waking up in the morning to that nice little adrenaline hit associated with being right ;)

Good luck brother/sister, I'm sending you a load of love from a good place.

A little quote which I'm trying to internalise at the moment, "If anyone can take your peace, you happiness, your love away from you, you are the loser. If anyone can make you angry, you are the loser." Bikram If you can get that one down, you win!

xxx

very interested in ST. Johns Wort.

I'm not familiar with severe/debilitating depression. I was only referring to lite anxiety. I'm a naturally intense person, pot just helps take the edge off for me. I use it medicinally 90% of the time, smoking just enough to maintain a slight buzz at all times...

I agree with mushrooms though. I've had equal experiences on LSD and MDMA. I truly believe that most people should experience them, they make you a more emphatic person. They expand the realms of consciousness, that's what life is all about... (obtaining awareness)

I think this is precisely why cannabis is still illegal

I think it's only a partial reason.

[deleted]

username refers to a different kind of diesel. and not the fuel.

The Vin kind?

huh? it's an East Coast (north) thing, a term for heroin.

TIL. Thanks.

I want to be compassionate with you about your depression issues, but I also want to be realistic.

I've got the same education debt issues as you ($57k last time I heard from them, I think -- and going on 12 years of varying states of un/under-employment). The psychology of depression is amplified during an ongoing state of economic depression (I can't tell you how insulted I am every time they call it an "economic downturn" - all of the stock markets have crashed and the only 'recovery' has been for the corporations via bailouts... which amplifies the depression for the common citizenry, because they're forced to carry the burden).

So, yeah... I get where you're coming from. I can relate... all too intimately... with the sense of futility. I wake up to it every morning: I'm one of the many who have been cast aside as having no value.

How does it get better,

I'm still waiting to find out. And, while I don't want to impose a curse of suffering upon you, I hope you'll wait with me.

and where should I go from here?

If you find a place better than here, please come back and let me know where it is.

The best part is how inflated the market is at the moment. What, we're back up to 13k almost for the dow jones? all that means is that the dollar is worth even less.

street expects qe3. prices rocket in response.

It is depressing to learn that we are living in a system where elites have an unfair advantage and are skimming off the rest of us. I began to understand this when I went on a reading and documentary viewing rampage to make up for a lack of material to study after finishing college about 8 years ago. Here is my advice:

Eat properly, eat FRESH fruits and vegetables daily. If you don't like eating them, get a juicer. It sounds like an infomercial, but it has really benefited me. Most (Americans at least) have a horrible diet. This has a direct effect on your mental and physical well-being. As you get older you will notice that inputs affect your body more directly and obviously.

Exercise as much as possible, especially if you begin feeling funky.

Regain your sense of humor. Learn to find some level humor in the preposterousness of events an cover stories, or the inconsistency in logic and justification for events.

Grow some of your own food (as much as you can) and do other DIY projects, you can also use this as a cost cutting entertainment method if you live in an area where you can have projects like this. It's healthier and better for your wallet than shopping for imported products. If you don't live in an area like this, maybe that is also part of your issue.

Maybe you are in a bad job market. Look at Google's public data on unemployment. Move to (or job hunt in) a job market with a lower unemployment rate.

Read any economics article on inflation you see, until you understand the issues. You can see inflation at the pump and at the supermarket. When your dollar buys less, inflation is happening. Despite this, the fed has announced they will be keeping rates fixed at least through 2012.

Prepare yourself, our monetary system is also a depressing issue to learn about (if you haven't already). IMO, understanding the business cycle is the largest way to protect yourself. It is the difference between purchasing a property at the bottom of the market to realize the rise, or purchasing near the peak to experience the dump. Easy rules, don't use credit, don't buy what you don't need. You don't have to participate in the consumption culture very much at all, if you don't want to.

You don't need to keep reading conspiracy news. Once you understand that it is a scam, whatever happens on a day to day basis is essentially irrelevant.

We live in a corrupt, scam; that is life in the world at this time. You can still create a very happy and comfortable life for yourself and your family. I am nearly positive it beats the dark ages (and many other chaotic and violent ages). If the tide begins to turn you can participate in that. Until that time, get your own life in order.

If you plan to purchase property or have material possessions, you should get an understanding of the business cycle and then check in on the economic news at least every other week.

What really irks me is the way people label me as depressed and too anxious when I discuss anything deeper than the latest episode of Jersey Whore. Even deep-thinkers like my fiance's parents get turned off by 'conspiracy' discussions and start pointing out that I should be living in the moment and not worrying about the future. I want to slap them in the face but I also question whether they know what I am saying and just DGAF or if they really don't understand. So yes, it is quite frustrating and often times feels pointless to know this stuff. Regarding employment, I would tell things are gonna get better, but I think we both know that is BS. So, in the meantime keep reading, keep informing yourself so that YOU are prepared for the coming events.

Mostly what I feel is frustrated and angry, that so much injustice and so many lies exist, yet so few are willing to even acknowledge them.

Out of sight, out of mind. So many people are just so willing..I have a hard time understanding it. I don't know if I'm out of touch, in touch, or what..

I clicked on this link because it describes how I feel, some of the time. Knowing that I "know" more than most people makes me at times depressed, like the original poster, but I fluctuate between that depressed feeling with minutes or hours or days of outrage, fury, calm, peace, confusion, shock, awe, bliss, hatred..

It's like a rollercoaster. I just hate that I'm sometimes hopeful and sometimes depressed (and everything in between and at each spectrum) that I'm riding on it.

Yes.

I know that feel bro. I haven't experienced it for very long, but sometimes I have a hard time just thinking so much and I have a sense of responsibility for some reason to be a part of the resolution or solution to the problem. I don't know what to do other than try to make others "aware", or just to tell them to start thinking for themselves and start looking outside the mainstream.

Just last night I asked my fiancee if she has any favorite musical artists that have never made a top 40, and she couldn't think of one. I'm trying to figure out a way to get through to people and I think when I asked her that, she actually thought for a minute about why she couldn't name one.

As far as advice, I don't think I can really help there, but I feel for you for sure. Good luck man, it's nice to hear when people actually do use their brains.

I am fortunate that my wife and I have always been employed. She's a nurse and I own a commercial print business. We are in our 40s and live in Canada.

Although we are both fairly well established, professionally, we have two teen-aged children. We both want our kids to stay in school and acquire as much education as possible. My wife is more prone to think education is an implied guarantee of success in life; however, I am not so sure of this societal assumption.

I worry about the massive debts building up in countries throughout the world. I worry about the eroding rights of citizens. I worry about the American economy circling the bowl. I want to leave this world better than I found it and I am afraid this will not happen.

As a parent, I'm supposed to know what to tell my kids. I often have no idea where we are all heading. Sometimes the world is a dark and fucked up place. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. I wish you luck in landing work that challenges and rewards you.

I have an opening in Halifax that I cannot fill, but that's another issue.

I am unsure of your personal situation; however, I know there is a big demand for managers & workers in the North. There was a head hunter in Atlantica recently looking for retail store managers for various cities. These retail "hot spots" sell everything the local community needs ... food, alcohol, clothing, electronics, tobacco, RX drugs, etc. This is not what you are trained to do - but $100K/ year + is worthy of consideration. I hear the hours are long; however, the money is huge and they fly you home every few weeks for a break w/ family.

This is not for guys w/ kids (or a SO); however, it will help you to tackle that mounting debt load. My brother in law declared bankruptcy with a huge student debt load and it has been a huge cloud of bad karma hanging over his head for years. He compares the arm's length relationship with these counselors to being on parole from prison.

Have you been in touch with a head hunter? It is such an inefficient waste of industry to have Canada's educated youth sitting idle. Keep on keeping on ...

[deleted]

first off, I love hunter s Thompson and completely agree. I too, often find myself depressed about the current situation. Even my gf who I admire for her intelligence would rather fb than read intellectual material (I encourage her to do so, but she would rather I told her instead of her doing her bit of research). Tbh I was in a dark place until recently. I constantly smoked weed and partied and it felt good to fit in with the people who didn't know, care, or care to know. I am without a doubt labeled a conspiracy theorist amongst the people I know with a small handful of people I would consider awake. Things didn't really start getting better until I recently got my new job. It's not so much finally having work, although that is a plus. Rather it is the work I do. I fundraise for a child centered community development organization which does great things around the world. It's entirely rewarding to be affecting positive change. It really is up to you to decide if things get better. I haven't found many open minded critical thinking people, but the ones I have found have been through spreading what I know. Best of luck to you, my friend. edit: sp

It does get a little better.

Mostly due to normal adaptation to a new psychological environment. Unfortunately, you're likely to be an outsider for the rest of your life. It's not so bad, though. Find the others. If you're around people who are sympathetic you're likely to have an easier tome psychologically. This does not merely mean finding people who agree with you. Find people who are good people and surround yourself with them. You still don't know shit. Remember that. If you think you know what's up you're already mentally dead. Learn as much as you can about everything you can. Find other people who like to learn (look into Robert Anton Wilson, by the way). Really, though - surround yourself with good people.

As per doing something with the knowledge you do have:

[Luciferian language patterns / HA!] darkness flees from the light. Carry that torch. Shine that light. Not for others. Not for yourself. But because it is right and it is good.

[deleted]

booklink please!

I'm awake 8 years this May, I sometimes regret taking the red pill. Then I realize, I would have just been ashleep (sheep & asleep, corny I know LOL).

So I don't really regret it, I just wish the world I was in 9 years ago was the real reality.

It's Hell. Literally. We are literally in Hell. What are we "conspiracy theorists" experiencing on a daily basis? Torment? Frustration? Depression? Hopelessness? Feels like your soul, your actual essence, is being tortured non-stop?

This experience is the definition of Hell.

Being a "conspiracy theorist" at this great time, is probably the single worst experience your soul will ever have to endure in the infinite number of lives you'll have.

But it's worth it. Because we can say we were awake years before everyone else. We had a unique view of History, we watched the Human Race, this great, tragic species, become One, right in front of our awaiting eyes. We watched it unfold!!

And when it came, it was like a sunrise after a long, cold, dark night.

8 years. 8 Long, long years. Coldest years of my life. And now I'm starting to see the sun rise above the horizon. They are marching as one!! They have seen the light!! Marching as the 99%, in thousands of city's across the world!!

It can't be the light. I must be dreaming. Or I must be dead. No! Because I've been dead for eight years. The Light!! The Light!! That is light. That is Light!! Then it's finally over. It's over!! The Light!! THEY HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!! THEY HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!! THEY HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!!

It's Hell. Literally. We are literally in Hell.

Well, if "love of money is the root of all evil", that pretty much sums up state of international affairs these last few decades (since JFK was iced).

The hell we live in was described relatively accurately by John Carpenter several years ago and now I know why people were so incensed over the issuance of currency with the word "God" written upon it.

The words on the money "This is your God" apply to the ruling class. They worship wealth -- and why not? They have no trace of spirituality, and they see that money buys them power over other human beings. It's the perfect God for a soulless class.

Great topic. Thanks for bringing it up.

And a question. Why would you tell them about your college degree and post grad work when applying for a job at a coffee shop. If they say you are over-qualified that is your fault for letting them know that I suppose?

I feel very similar to you otherwise.

I agree. Listing irrelevant qualifications just gives them a reason to say no.

Why would he tell them about his college degree? Well, I can't speak for ManyWolvesNearby, but when I make a resume I like to have the truth on it, that's the kinda thing people into this subreddit respect.

I suppose ManyWolvesNearby could just leave 4 years of his resume blank, but that would make him look like a lazy bum.

Well if I apply to a job at McDonalds I might leave my PhD. off of that application or resume. Just saying. You have to know what works or the crowd you are trying to reach. It might be a tactic to try in the future.

I feel for you - I'm kinda there too. For me it's almost been like going through phases of learning you are going to die. At first I was in denial, then I was angry, then I was majorly depressed, and now I'm in kind of an acceptance mode - and I'm doing whatever I can, at a basic and localized level to prepare for whatever I can prepare for. I think my deep Christian faith helps me a lot too, to be honest. Gives me hope that everything is working as planned even if it seems to be unraveling. It does feel odd though to be making plans for the future on one hand, and believing there isn't much of a future in store for us on the other - but I don't know any other way to face life. You got to keep on keeping on, and hope for the best while planning for the worst I guess. Sometimes I wish I had never read what I've read, or seen what I've seen - because life would be blissfully ignorant.

I use to.

I'm all good though now. Kinda of gained an acceptance.

Plus I know that there is no way in hell a NWO can succeed due to society being based off of finite resources.

We are in a slow suicide.

S'all good though. That means they'll fail and we'll make a better society.

Every single day man. I have yet to find my auto-pilot switch.

I feel stress, anxiety and depression, alot of the times it comes from just feeling like an overwhelmed little piece in a great big giant machine. You have almost no idea what's true, what's false, and researching things brings more possible truths to light, thus creating a never ending expansion of conspiracies, back room deals, crooked politics, oppression, ignorance, basically more of what we're neck deep in now. I guess since I've only been "awake" for about a year or so, I have yet to say how severe any of this is...

it's the reason i drank to excess for many years. i still fall back on it a few times a year but as you get older the hangovers far outweigh the fun the night before anyway :(

Read Glenn Greenwald if you don't already. Consider becoming a journalist and documenting the injustices that you see around you on a daily basis. People will eventually start to listen.

All the damn time, fucking sucks living in a popullated state it would be easeir if I lived out in bumfuck nowhere.

Hi, sorry to hear about your troubles I come offering advice based on similar experience I had, coincidentally enough involving similar circumstances to yours. I wont get in to any of the details of the mechanics of depression because frankly there's another million people that can tell you them far better than I could. But, when I was experiencing my battle I found this was all people had to offer, that and vague philosophical rambling. Practical advice was very seldom given to me so I will share with you the few snippets that really did help over the four years that I dealt with these feelings.

Diet and exercise, I know they're fucking obvious but please don't just pass them aside. Personally staying in shape and striving to be healthy has become my biggest motivator.

Take ten minutes out of your day and just say 'fuck it all' put on a song and convince yourself for a brief moment that it is the only single thing in the entire fucking universe that matters right now, become blissfully ignorant, lie to yourself and chose to believe it. You'll be able to come back to reality feeling more focussed and recharged, something about living in the moment.

And lastly, I Don't really have a final point...something about reality being a construction of our own imaginations where death is freedom but life is for living so enjoy the moment?

I hope that somewhere in this rambling you find something that helps, perhaps you learnt a new word along the way ( I doubt it, my vocabulary isn't that great ) But if you have any questions or just want to talk to someone don't hesitate to message me.

It's strange how easily you can stop doing these things without even realizing. Best of luck!

I think the burden of feeling like you know more than the uninformed people around you is a likely cause of anxiety and or depression. Along with frustration, anger, and any number of emotional responses. The old saying "curiosity killed the cat" works here. Everyone who is reading this, at some point in the last few months or weeks or perhaps years, decided that they didn't accept everything they had been told, so they went out an looked for answers. We all got our answers, for the most part anyways. But now we know what we didnt before, so that puts even more stress and worry on an already likely overcooked or burdened existence.

I totally know what you're feeling. I too get discouraged at the world around me... the messed up realities of our modern society are becoming harder to ignore as time passes.

What kind of world are we leaving behind?

Deep down, I sometimes wish we could all live some sort of collective slap in the face, wake up and do things right.

(I know, I'm being naive)

Thanks for this post. Good to know others sort of feel the same. Chin up!

Very enlightening post, I know that feel

I've been struggling with this more and more for the past few years as I've been waking up more and more. Glad to know I'm not alone! Remember, even the best sculptor must start by making small dents in the largest of rocks.

Honestly this /r/ depresses me. I only get down votes and I only say what I think. I tend to not post here often.

After a while you realize that everything you know is an illusion. The medium is the message. We are the actors. Who is the audience?

It hurts so much.I always knew the world was fucked up,but not to this extent.Every waking moment of my life Is revolved around these thoughts.Sometimes I forget about It and continue with life...but I've realized Ignoring It won't make It go away.So I try to Inform ppl and shit. Just remember that In the end everyone will think of the crazy conspiracy theorists as right all along.

Feeling alienated from others could easily make you depressed, and it's hard not to feel alienated when everyone around you is essentially living in a parallel (false) reality. I keep my thoughts to myself anymore. Trying to wake up the ignorant is not only a thankless task, it turns people against you.

yes. this. its painful.

All the time brother, you're not alone.

its comforting to know I am not the only one

Seek out like-minded individuals and build/make something meaningful with them. Loneliness is always a major factor to depression. Your current company is making you ill because you can't share anything meaningful with them. Cults, psych-workers, idiots, and gurus will likely be a waste of time and resources, but being able to engage in meaningful dialogue with another breathing, living human being will go a long way toward easing your pain because it will give you an immediate bit of purpose to know that you sincerely matter to someone and vice versa.

Pursue a hobby you're passionate about and you'll run into someone who has a similar passion. Make sure it's something creative and challenging though, not a movie or trivia club. Those things are too passive and trivial to be meaningful. For example, learn to carve small ornaments from someone more patient, skillful, and wise and you'll begin to develop meaningful connections that reward with something in return for the time commitment. Avoid wasteful individuals like the fucking plague! They're usually vacant, pointless little vampires and no matter how much time you spend with them, you get virtually nothing in return but emptiness and loneliness.

When i first became interested/curious about the topics of "alternate history" and conspiracies, i was highly skeptical... but as my research deepened, i dropped into the proverbial "rabit hole".

I became extremely anxious (to the point of parinoia and such) and basically had a nervous breakdown.

Im still trying to cope with the peoples ability to ignore or otherwise give less shits about the realities of the way our world is operated and run...

Yup glad I'm not the only one . Well not glad, but good to know.

Ignore the debt. Its never going to be paid off by anyone and definitely won't be paid off by you, so stop giving money to thieves. Join Islam or something, there's nothing that will piss off the elites more than increasing number of Muslims and Sharia law, which forbids the usury and compound interest that funds the globalist agenda and keeps everyone else dirt broke.

Here's a couple songs I think might help:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/41108/Peaceful%20Inhabitant%20Solution/John%20Fischer%20-%20Not%20the%20Only%20One.mp3

"For all the knowledge I had gained, put me on a higher plane, and I became another; No one was my brother"

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/41108/Peaceful%20Inhabitant%20Solution/John%20Fischer%20-%20Wide%20Angle.mp3

"Wide angle; more than I used to see ... Where I once was afraid to open up my eyes, now this wide angle has turned my fear into surprise"

http://www.youtube.com/s1k3st937

I used to be but I guess I eventually accepted that for the time being I can nothing other than assume the position and got on with life.

Its time to grow mushrooms :)

Since the early 90's.

You are speaking my language. I too feel depressed, frustrated and overwelmed as i watch everything crumble and everyone cheering the madness on instead of trying to stop it. Everytime I try to talk to anyone about it, they just dismiss me as if I'm the crazy one. They have sooo much blind faith in our government and don't even bother to question why the government does what it does. It makes me angry. I just want to slap them, shake them, anything to wake them up! It's so sad. I often feel anxious about what's going to happen after the elections are over. What's going to happen before the elections are even done. I wish so bad i could be blind again, happy burying my head in the sand as everyone else seems to do, but it's just too much to ignore. I feel as though we are all standing on a cliff and any moment now we are going to get a violent push off into a world much like 1984. I'm anxious for my kids who will have to grow up in that kind of world. It makes my heart ache for them. I want to scream and cry. But despite all of that I do still have some mild hope that if Ron Paul, and people just like him can get into office then maybe, just maybe we can stem the tide. Anyway, thanks for sharing and putting a voice to what I'm going through. :)

If you can't beat them, join them. Get a government job. I would think KBR/Blackwater/Halliburton needs your expertise in Iraq, Libya, Yemen, and soon Iran to put these places back together since we've bombed them back to the stone age.

The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation needs people to keep track of those genetically altered mosquitoes.

Try the national weather service. I bet they need more people to research the effects of all those chemtrails.

If all else fails, I hear the TSA is expanding to train and bus stations and doing big sporting events. I bet they are hiring.

The arkward moment your sarcasm is so advanced, people think youre serious.

Thanks for the compliment. Seriously, we need some patriots on the inside.

As long as we have our ways to bring change with democracy its not that urgent although having Jim Tucker as an insider or as someone getting insider Infos was great. Have a nice day.

I mean, the other day some dude's argument was "there's no such thing as a free lunch", and I'm just thinking, where the fuck does that explanation fit into the complex nature of our world?

It can be read as metaphor for the law of conservation of energy. You can't walk five feet away from your monitor right now without expending any work, otherwise you'd have perpetual motion machines.

In economics, taking the spirit of the phrase literally would mean that, should one be given a "free" lunch, it isn't really free since it cost somebody labor to make that lunch, even though you didn't have to pay for it.

You probably got downvoted by the people here who do believe in perpetual motion machines.

It can be read as metaphor for the law of conservation of energy.

Or, it can be read as what it has been in 99% of the cases where I've seen that expression used: The abusive trollery of a douchenozzle.

What elitist forces do you think are arrayed against the world?

huh? it's an East Coast (north) thing, a term for heroin.

first off, I love hunter s Thompson and completely agree. I too, often find myself depressed about the current situation. Even my gf who I admire for her intelligence would rather fb than read intellectual material (I encourage her to do so, but she would rather I told her instead of her doing her bit of research). Tbh I was in a dark place until recently. I constantly smoked weed and partied and it felt good to fit in with the people who didn't know, care, or care to know. I am without a doubt labeled a conspiracy theorist amongst the people I know with a small handful of people I would consider awake. Things didn't really start getting better until I recently got my new job. It's not so much finally having work, although that is a plus. Rather it is the work I do. I fundraise for a child centered community development organization which does great things around the world. It's entirely rewarding to be affecting positive change. It really is up to you to decide if things get better. I haven't found many open minded critical thinking people, but the ones I have found have been through spreading what I know. Best of luck to you, my friend. edit: sp